Dead People

It's been a while since I or Kelly updated. We've been really busy with school lately and things can get really hectic. I was originally planning on doing an entry about the comparison between Lennon and Dimebag, two brilliant musicians who were essentially polar opposites of each other but still badass. I was going to do this until I looked on my computer's home page for news and saw that Richard Jeni, comedian and actor, shot himself in the face in an apparent suicide. After this I looked at all of the things and found that these entertainers, and artists for lack of a better term, were dead.

I was never a big fan of Richard Jeni or anything he particularly did. Still, it leaves me wondering why comedians are often the most depressed people in the world. I recently started actually performing my stand-up routine and it makes me feel better. I have often been told I am a depressed person or a depressing person to hang around with which is why comedians don't necessarily make the best friends or the most fun people. It really leaves me wondering though that for someone who can make millions of people laugh, why can't they feel better about themselves. Richard Jeni had battled depression for a long time and many of my favorite comedians are medically depressed. Mitch Hedberg, Sarah Silverman, David Cross, Brian Posehn, just to name a few have all had problems in their life and have admittedly battled with depression. Mitch Hedberg is the biggest example as he let the depression get the best of him and it looks as though, Jeni did too.

Richard Jeni was a world renowned comedian. Here is a man that has been in blockbuster movies, had numerous successful HBO specials and was even ranked by comedians as one of the 100 best stand-ups of all time. Yet despite all this, the man could never come to terms with himself and the problems he had. It makes me wonder if comedy is really worth it and if it really is the solution: to act as if you're failures are funny even if it tears you up to have other people laugh at it. I'm sure it can be a bit much at times. But I would have though Jeni could overcome that, I mean I'm sure he was rich. He had a nice girlfriend but I guess in the end, comedy and all that could never be enough.

I was watching Behind the Music: Pantera, again last night. Every time I watch that I choke up because Dimebag was my guitar hero. I never had Eddie Van Halen. He was before my time as was all the other guitar legends: Hendrix, Clapton, Paige--all before my time. Kurt Cobain couldn't be my guitar hero, because he sucked at guitar. Tom Morello, while one of my favorite guitarists, could not be my guitar hero because what he does with a guitar isn't guitar hero-like, it's just insane. Growing up, I looked at Dimebag and was like, "I want to play guitar like that". I would run into the living room and pretend I was playing Pantera at the age of 4. Yes, I knew who Pantera was at the age of 4. That's how much this man meant to me.

Darrell Abbott was my guitar hero. I looked at him and though that this was the epitome of guitar work. Furthermore, the man was a cowboy, a REAL LIFE COWBOY. I mean he was from Texas, drank like there was no tommorrow, did whatever the fuck he wanted and was shot on stage while ripping it up. How more fucking cowboy can you be? My dad would always talk about how he admired cowboys growing up, well this man was my cowboy hero and he was a fucking guitar player.

When he died, I was speechless. I sat back in my chair and just stared at my screen for what seemed like hours.

I was going to talk about Lennon but I got lazy. So I'll just stop at Dimebag and Jenni. More on Lennon later when I talk about "Julia" which is my favorite Beatles song and quite possibly the best song ever written. Peace
- Lazy Cougar