Uhhh huhuhuh huhuh

So I think it's a given that I listen to music that could be considered "far out" or "different". So it's really hard to stump me when it comes to finding a musical piece. I'm pretty open to almost anything which is why my record colletion has everything from Slipknot to Eddie Murphy. With that said, I do listen to a lot of noise which people consider "odd" or "weird". So whenver people are like "you listen to weird music" or talk about some "weird" song they heard (probably Animal Collective), it makes me laugh. They don't know the half of it. So this condescending response usually leads to them asking me what my weirdest record or album I've ever listened to or own is. I am usually stumped because I only like listening to things that are good and in many instances, original. I was stumped until I bought this:


This is "Roach Motel" by Lamborghini Crystal: James from Skaters (who are already fuckin nuts) and someone else. Now, like I said, I listen to some far out shit, but even by standards, this album is fucking weird. Samples of gospel music, Beavis and Butthead, Taco Bell commercials, and pre-recorded material but instead of regular samples, it sounds like they just let these tapes melt in the sun. It literally sounds melted. And I have trouble describing it any other way. It is literally the sound of your brain degenerating and getting damaged by the minute. Needless to say I kinda like this record.


People also asked me about the time I was dosed at No Fun. Well apparently I saw Skaters at this time. I don't remember Skaters. I remember telling Frank if he saw those ghosts in the room that were screaming and making ghost noise. Apparently that was Skaters. And apparently they were fucking great, but all I saw were ghosts and all I heard were loud ghost noises.

THat was James and the other dude. This is James Ferraro at his most whacked out and drugged up. People also ask me what mescaline is like, my answer: seriously listen to this record. Much like the trip itself, it's long, it's a committment, you don't really understand the benefits of it or from it, all you know is that you feel well, weird.

And that brings us full circle. This is the weirdest record I own and if anyone were ever interested in hearing it, they are welcome. But do so at your own discretion and exercise extreme caution. Because Human Brain Waste Syndrome is a side effect. I know. I have it after listening to it repeatedly.

Here's a life performance of Lamborghini Crystal. Although compared to thier recorded material, this is a lot more accessable.


Seriously, download them if you want the full trip. Compared to their albums, this performance is tame.

- Brain = Fartz

Scumbag Casanova

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Do You Want Total War?
Oh man, so I have never done this before. But I am angered and saddened and depressed to the point where I could give two fucks. I hope everyone sees this. And by everyone I mean EVERYONE--especially those I don't associate with. I apologize to all those for my deviation from the original plan of this project (as noted in the about me). I never get personal, even during the worst of times. But since people got personal with me, I can't stay silent anymore. I just can't. I'm not that guy anymore. So here's this.

There’s not enough light in this city to shine out its imperfections. But what do you have to offer other than free handouts and a copy of another book burning? In the morning the sun hits you, and you have no idea where the boundaries of yesterday and decency span.

It’s all the same. Why don’t you just come to your senses? You’d find better availability in the shafts of anonymity. At least then I wouldn’t have to search high and low. At least then you wouldn’t have to try so hard: a city on a hill wrapped in its own degradation.

You never excel. You just wallow around in the same pit used to clean the scars off of junkies and vagrants—the ones you pretend to model for. And once you’ve hit the silica ceiling, there is nothing left but the hounds of regret. And the stains of tomorrow.

No progression.
Just consistency in existence.


I would say YOU should just be lucky I didn't publsh D2 instead. That one was fucking scathing. And money in its assessments. This is fucking romper room.

Once again apologies to everyone else. But hey if you liked that then thanks. If you don't like my pussy doodles...THEN I DON'T WANT TO KNOW YOU.

- Pussy Doodler

Scumbag Casanova

Thursday, February 18, 2010

The Real Folk Blues


Few shows have ever gotten me the way Cowboy Bebop. I started watching Adult Swim when I was 12 or 13 years old when it first started airing. I was and will always be a night owl. The last show they would air would be this anime cartoon. I was never a huge fan of anime, but watching this show made me a believer. It wasn't just another anime. This show had everything in it. It was about bounty hunters in the future. The love story was brutal. The villian was Vicious (literally). The life story was brutal. What made this show so special was the background of every single major character. You empathized with almost every single character and related to them on the most basic of levels, even Ein the dog.

It's hard to describe this show in just one setting. Jet has a very depressing and hard background as a former cop and it is very hard to find yourself relating. Ein and Edward are orphans who never stop believing in happiness. Vicious is well, vicious as shit. Faye is a 23 year old girl who lost her identity and remembers nothing about who she is. Julia is the girl of my dreams and the most mysterious and tragic figure. And Spike, well if you watched the clip above, you know why Spike might be the greatest protagonist in any television show ever.

Every single part of this show hit me so hard. But the love story between Spike and Julia (you don't see her in the clip she's a tall leggy blonde), is to me, the most central part of this show. Julia was ordered to kill Spike by his former best friend and her lover Vicious, but because she was in love with Spike and not Vicious she let him go, promising to meet him in the graveyard one day again. There are so many symbols and events that lead up to this ultimate meeting and Julia is only really ever in three episodes. But she is clearly such a powerful force behind Spike's reason for living and the show in general.


I can go on and on and on about this show. But really, you just have to see it for yourself. It's on every Saturay on adultswim and I highly suggest you watch it. It's only 28 episodes and each one is better than the last. Like I said, few television shows every move me emotionally but Cowboy Bebop ranks up there and if you aren't moved by at least one scene throughout the entire series, you're probably dead.

- Spike.

Scumbag Casanova

Thursday, February 04, 2010

Babe of the moment: Kristen Davis

Why? Because I said so that's why. And because that shitty movie, "Couple's Retreat" is out, and she is smoking hot in that movie in her bikini. Now as any man who has been in a relationship within the last ten years will tell you, there are certain things that a man HAS TO DO if he is to keep his girlfriend happy. And while it varies from person to person, there has always been one thing that was consistent: SEX AND THE CITY. Every man has seen at least one episode of this show and I cannot tell you how many I was forced to watch. I am not ashamed to admit that I have seen almost every single episode of that fucking program.

For me personally, I hated all of the girls except for Charlotte. Kristen Davis literally lit up the screen when she was on, and I was always excited to see what happened to her, mainly because not only was she the cutest, but she was also the hottest. There was always a little hint of wildness there, and I think that character transcended into her personality. Kristen Davis is everything from the cute girl next door, to the vixen pin-up in your room. And I think the fact that she is gorgeous and a babe throughout all those makes her extremely diverse as a sex symbol. Simple stated: she hot.

I don't know what it was but I always had a thing for that cutsey, bubbly personality. The fact that she was super cute and super hot, and I think objectively, the prettiest out of all the girls (Miranda was a lesbo, Sam was 85 and Carrie looks like a foot).

Now I know saying his makes me look well, a bit on the feminine side. But I don't care I am secure enough in my masculinity to make these judgments, because they are based on how attractive these girls were. And for my money, they didn't come no hotter than Kristin Davis. She had the sweetest butt and just perfect figure. She was cute and if I were a dude in New York in this fictional world, I would have tried going after her so hard. I don't see how you couldn't.



...and then there was THOSE PICTURES. You know the ones. The ones that came out with Kristin engaged in all sorts of sexually explicit interactions. That came out of left field, because while I always assumed there was a hidden kinky side to her, I never imagined it would be displayed for the world to see. It didn't damage my view of her. On the contrary. It just made her more hot, cooler, and more desirable to me. While these pictures of NSFW and this isn't one of THOSE sights, there are some scaled down ones, so here's the best one I can find that doesn't make me look like a sleazebag.

While this is scumbag casanova, I will never put up sexually explicit photos. This blog ain't about that. This post isn't about that. It's a tribute to a beautiful, funny, and downright smoking babe. Kristen Davis is my babe of the moment and the more I think about it, the more I like older babes. And like I said, if anything those pictures only made me think she was way cooler and even more super hot.

You go girl. Dammit, can't believe I just said that. I gotta stop watching Sex and the City.

- Lady