has anyone heard some of that new Borges shit on myspace. The new Emaciator joints, FUCKING INCREDIBLE. Might be the best thing he's ever done since Vestige. No shit, fucking heartstopping and tearjearking.

In other news: I know I talk a lot about noise and brutality and all that shit, but the truth is, I like everyone else, am not immune to happy giddy songs about love and and whatever. I love Leslie Feist. I always have. I saw her almost three years ago at the Black Cat in DC and she is just the most awesomest thing ever. I also love Sesame Street because it raised me basically when I was little kid. If not for that show, I be not writing good. So I heard that Feist is in the new season of Sesame Street. I youtubed it, and sure enough...



...probably the cutest, fuzziest, warmest feeling I've ever had.

Scumbag Casanova

Sunday, July 20, 2008

BABES

Okay so as much as I try and be a good kid with something to say, I can't help but say something about this. I try and be as respectful as humanly possible and for the most part I feel like I am not too bad of a kid, but sometimes I am just another red blooded male that sees a woman on tv or something and is like, "wow, that chick is a babe." So lately I've been seeing these two older ladies on tv a lot and you know what, it really doesn't matter. Despite their ages, they are still babes. They are hotter than any of the other girls flaunting themselves out there like those ugly ass girls from mtv or whatever it is kids today watch.


HOLY SHIT!!! This lady is 63 years old and she looks fucking hot! Helen Mirren is the hottest old lady I've ever seen in my entire life period. This shot of her in her bikini just confirms that she puts all other paparazzi girls in their 20's to shame. Heidi looks is vomit next to Helen Mirren. Helen Mirren, 63 year old babe.


I've always kinda had a crush on Kate Walsh from when she was on the Drew Carey show. But lately I'v seen her everywhere and that Cadillac commercial is just crazy hot. I've been seeing her on tv a lot recently and she just looks so hot every time I see her. I don't think I've ever seen her not hot. Even when she was in a fat suit on Drew Carey, wolfing down chicken all I could think was, "this chick in a fat suit horkin down that drumstick is pretty hot." Kate Walsh, babe.

So these ladies prove you don't have to be in your twenties and running around on the beach with your coked up nose and your ribs showing because you haven't eaten in 3 days and just got off an all night rager where you blew your fucking brains off at Club Monaco. I don't know. These two older ladies are total babes and some of the hottest women in the world. Age is just time trying to bum you out.

Chalk this entry up as one of superficiality and banal commentary with no societal insight. I really don't care. Kate Walsh and Helen Mirren are hot.

- CMO

Scumbag Casanova

Thursday, July 17, 2008

"I hope that company fails."

Walking down F street on my way to work I felt a sudden surge of anger. I had completely psyched myself up and pretty much the precipice of my shitty summer was on the verge of a full blown topple over the side of the shitty cliff that is my life. I began to walk with a full blown military march as I approached the store and in the vantage point I could make out Diana, Joan and a man jumping up and down taking pictures. It was him. It was Dov Charney.

Dov Charney is the CEO, founder and owner of American Apparel, a vertically integrated clothing company based in Los Angeles. As you all know, they opened up retail stores all along the United States and across the world and have expanded into a multi-million dollar corporation, with Dov being the multi-millionaire beneficiary. He's been featured in new programs and various articles all over the world. He's kind of become this huge sub-cultural icon and in many ways a poster-boy for the new American dream as he is an immigrant from Canada who became a millionaire here in America. He's a household name and one of the top 20 American business figures. He takes his company and his business (obviously) very seriously which is why I had so much adreneline flowing through my veins on my way to what I thought was going to be my last encounter with American Apparel.

Joan quickly introduced us, "Dov, this is Chris, our backstock manager."
Dov: You're the backstock manager?
Me: Yes.
Dov: Come with me let's talk.
Me: Yeah, let's talk.

Every single employee at the stores hates that dreaded phone call or visit. "Dov is here." I've been working here almost a year and we would all joke or get scared at the very idea. Today was supposed be my day off. After pulling a 16 hour shift yesterday (no joke), today was supposed to be my day to relax, watch Dog Whisperer and ESPN and get some laundry done. Nope. 3:45 in the afternoon I get the call from Diana, "Dov is here." I put on my American Apparel uniform, grabbed my shit and headed out the door to the store where I met up with them.

What followed was a conversation that I never in my wildest dreams thought I'd be having, at least not until I was in my thirties and had already given up on all my dreams to work for some souless corporation. Dov asked what the fuck was wrong with me letting all those boxes pile up in the back without getting the merch on the floor. I enfatically told him we had been recieving boxes after boxes without any of them showing up in our system, which meant I had to go through each box, one by one by one and manually recieve every single piece of clothing in those boxes into our inventory, keeping in mind each box has about 40-50 articles of clothing. All together we had recived over forty boxes last week.

Dov: 14 boxes! FUCK YOU! I CAN DO THAT IN MY SLEEP ALONE!
Me: I DID DO THAT ALONE AND THE NEXT DAY WE GOT THIRTY MORE BOXES IN THAT WEREN'T IN OUR SYSTEM!
Dov: 30 BOXES! FUCK YOU! THAT NEEDS TO BE DONE!
Me: FUCK ME?!?!?! NO DOV, FUCK THE FACTORY AND ASN FOR FUCKING UP AND NOT GETTING THAT SHIT INTO OUR SYSTEM!??!
DOV: YOU NEED TO FUCK OFF!??!
Me: YOU AND YOUR FACTORY NEED TO FUCK OFF AND REALIZE THREE PEOPLE CAN'T DO THAT SHIT IN ONE DAY!!
Dov: YOU'VE LOST ME 30 PERCENT OF SALES FOR THIS STORE!! YOU'RE RUINING MY COMPANY! I CAN FIRE YOU RIGHT NOW!! DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?!?!
Me: I KNOW WHO YOU ARE, AND I'M NOT FUCKING AFRAID OF YOU!

At this point Dov looked me up and down and it fell silent. "Okay let's go back to the store". Dov and I continued to argue into the backstock as he explained to me that on the conference calls he had already given this spiel.

Dov: I said on the conference calls, if you aren't getting the job done, I will know. I will go to your store and make you look like a fool. And guess what.
Me: Yeah, but I didn't say anything on there when you told us all that because I felt like we could get the job done. I took your advice when you gave it to everyone and was like, okay we can do this. I didn't speak up because I felt like we could do it and I didn't want to look like a dumbass.
Dov: Well guess what? You look like a dumbass!! Here, (at this point Dov pulls out his camera and snaps a picture of me) there we go. The dumbass of the company.

I explained to him everything that had happened and we bickered a little bit more until he and I both calmed down and began to find all the things we could improve about the store and the backstock. He bought one of my associates a pair of pants to feel like a part of the family and so that he would look nice for his mother's birthday party which was tonight. He literally pulled crumpled up 100 dollar bills out of his pocket and threw them at our female employees to go get their nails done and to pay for metro. He even palled around with me in the backstock making crude and inappropriate jokes when I was on the phone with Ariel (my main boss) getting chewed out for not doing a perfect fill. He punched me and was laughing.

I still couldn't get over the fact that he deemed me the dumbass of the company. And actually took my picture. It was so dehumaninzing and it's just a metaphor for every single person I've ever encountered and every single one of the friends I've had in my life until recently. Who the fuck am I? I'm just some 20 year old kid working stock in a retail store and all of a sudden I'm single handedly destroying American Apparel and therefore the dumbass of the company. Me, when there are hundreds of other employees who are at this moment, blowing their minds out and fucking up all administrative duties. Nope, the one Mexican stock boy from DC. He takes the cake.

I also couldn't grasp the notion of our conversation. If anyone was there they probably couldn't wrap their head around it either. Here is some 39 year old multi-millionaire who is not only CEO and founder of a fortune 500 company I work for, but one of the most recognizable faces in American business and some snot-nosed 20 year old punk Mexican kid from East L.A. arguing with each other, shouting at each other in the middle of downtown D.C, in front of all these people, telling each other to fuck off. It's so hard for me to grasp that. I would say only in America, but not even 60 year old company veterans for corporations talk to their bosses, who are 20 or 30 years their junior, like that. Only in American Apparel.

For what it's worth, Dov doesn't really seem like a bad guy. He actually seems like an alright guy who likes to have fun. He just takes his JOB very seriously. But you can tell life really isn't that difficult for Dov. You can tell he's a happy and content man. And that's what burns me the most. It's not that he's a bad person. He just embodies everything I hate about people. For the most part they are good, but they do things sometimes that are so fucked up and demeaning that it makes you wonder if mankind is really worth saving. I've been getting picked on all my life and when Dov pulled that shit today, it was just the epitome of every single experience I've had in my life. And here it is, the same shit, except this time it's not some asshole friend of mine, it's a multi-millionaire CEO. There really is no exception to the rule. Chris Moreno gets taken advantage of by EVERYONE. Some shit never changes.

My old associcate and manager Rob was talking with our old boss Katie (both left out of anger or were fired) the other week about how much they hated that company. When you work for them for so long, you grow bitter and resentful towards the way you are treated. I have often said they treat their retail employees worse than they do their factory workers who are treated pretty well. I used to look forward to going to work, but now it's just another corporate job that makes me hate waking up in the morning and makes me wish I were dead. This is what the company does to people who work there for too long. Whatever the case, the conversation with the two culminated with one of them uttering the phrase, "I hope that company fails". I laughed out loud because obviously it's at its peak right now but the notion of it falling flat on its face like tommorrow made me laugh so hard. It's like watching a really cool jock, get fat and fall on his face. I don't know. I love that line. If anyone of them reads this, I'm sure I'm fired, but I don't really care. I didn't get fired today when I told the CEO to fuck off, so I doubt any repercussions would be taken other than getting called "the dumbass of the company" again. My dad always did call me a pendejo (dumbass in Spanish).

So if anyone gets anything out of this that's cool. I just wanted to rant about American Apparel. Like I said, I don't write about personal shit in this blog, so yeah consider it a treat of some sort, I don't know. I'm not that fucking self-centered. I just wanted to tell you all about the degrading, demoralizing tasks and events that take place in life and the shitty way some people are treated by others who feel superior. I just wanted to write about a sleazy company that is making millions off of brain dead sorority girls, douchebag hipsters and (in DC) delinquent gay black kids who look like idiots and carry knives and pepperspray in their manpurses so they can steal. But hey--that's American Apparel.


- Dumbass of the company.

Scumbag Casanova

Tuesday, July 08, 2008

I just saw the cribs with Cam'ron's house. Dude has a fucking hole in his cieling that leads up to his "lounge". I know it's just a cellar. But god damn is that shit fucking cool...

new goal in life: Get a house big enough where I can trick out my cellar with suede and tv's to be a "lounge".

EDIT NOTE: No Age's tour dates were just mentioned on MTV2. I forgot they were playing tonight. I suck. I love those guys. I really do. Wives ruled. No Age Rules. I miss those guys. They've blown up.

DIPSET BITCH.

- killer

Scumbag Casanova

Sunday, July 06, 2008

SFN

I was scrolling through my occasional music sites and got to the 625 thrash site, which for some time has been a premiere name in local powerviolence and grindcore. They've given us Iron Lung, California Love, Spazz among others.

Well I came across this one new band from Madison, Wisconsin called SFN. All I have to say is that these guys can fucking thrash. THey have this sadistic quality to them that makes them sound a bit more sinister than the other straight up grindcore bands. And the dude who sings for them sounds like he's getting strangled to death. It's fucking awesome. It's like if Mindless Mutant and Dystopia went around strangling people. Check them out and if anyone has any of their shit please let me know.

SFN RULES!

Scumbag Casanova

Saturday, July 05, 2008

The Fall of "The Bad Guy"

Disclaimer: This is a post for wrestling nerds. If anyone here has a problem with wrestling or old school wrestling, then leave. If you think everyone who watches wrestling or used to is a retard, then leave. Second if you think any of the above, go fuck yourself you self-righteous prick.


On August Eigth, 1992 Scott Hall made his WWF wrestling debut under the gimmick of "Razor Ramon". With his signature toothpick in his mouth and his Miami drug-pin personna a-la Scarface, Scott Hall brought a different, seedier dynamic to the wrestling world and more importantly the mainstream media of the WWF/E. With his open declaration of being a Miami drug lord who came from nothing to the top, Scott Hall was able to transform himself into an anti-hero that just by being himself, was able to win over crowds, despite the fact that he was obviously supposed to be a reviled heel. His vignettes included clips of him driving down in South Beach with his convertable and the leopard skin interior. He would come to the ring with cold chains all around his neck. The kicker was his toothpick, which he would mockingly throw in the face of his opponent, humiliating them and demeaning their talents. With his signature catch phrase, "say hello to the bad guy" Scott Hall made an immediate impression on me and all other WWF fans.

I remember being drawn to Scott and his Razor Ramon personna. I also remember not liking the fact that I was drawn to this character because this person was a drug dealer and a "bad guy". He was obviously supposed to be a heel, yet I thought he was the coolest, most awesome sleazy guy I had ever seen. In truth, I kind of wanted to be Razor Ramon. Everything from his drug money to his in ring ability. Razor's finishing move, "The Razor's Edge" was this amazing drop powerbomb that if done incorrectly could have seriously broken someone's neck. It was one of the best finishers and to this day remains one of my favorite along with the jackknife. But there was just something about his drug addled appearance that appealed to me. It was something that spoke out and said, "Chris there is a little of this guy in you". I was only like fucking five years old at the time but I can clearly recall having a moment of relation when I saw Scott screaming about his past troubles and his addictions to get to where he is. And I was only five. I guess people should have probably seen that coming.

I say this now because we all know the tragic tale of Scott Hall. He to me, along with the Jake the Snake, Eddie, and the Hart Family, remains one of wrestling's biggest tragedies. Recently I've been watching some old AWA programs on ESPN classic. And it surprises me the number of wasted talents and tragedies that were in this federation. Curt Henning. Road Warrior Hawk. Hulk Hogan. Two of those three are dead and the other is clearly in his sixties and not happy. But when I saw Scott Hall, it was a huge surprise to me. Not to see him in action or wrestling, but just at his appearance. He was built as this monolitic figure that was unflappable in the face of danger. Dubbed "Big" Scott Hall, he was seen as this huge southern dude that would pummel you into submission. And man, was Scott fucking ripped. He was in better shape than Hogan was at the time and it was completely astonishing to me to see the Scott Hall from back then, bulky, with a handle-bar mustache, compared to the 90's Scott Halls where he looks tall, lanky, emaciated and like he's just about had enough of life. And now well, he's barely even recognizable.

Old Hall...


New Hall (Two Fallen Stars)

Scott Hall's troubles began in WWF where he was constantly cited from substance abuse problems. His infedility to his wife was a huge problem as well and you wouldn't think that knowing the wrestler's lifestyle. Many wrestlers cheat on their spouses and have no regrets whatsoever. The women don't say anything because they life comfortably and it's just kind of an unspoken rule. But apparently Scott really loved his wife and the fact that he cheated on her tore him up inside every time he did it. It was one of those masochistic things, where the pain you live every day becomes the feeling you sustain upon. The drugs, the pills the morally illicit sex, they just became part of that sorrow he needed to just get by through the day without offing himself.

As he worked his way up the ladder (figuratively and literally) Scott became one of the biggest faces in WWF. His ladder match with Shawn Michaels in Wrestlemania Ten was one of best wrestling matches in the history of the game and my favorite wrestlemania match. He invented the ladder match and subsequently invented many other aspects of the genre you see today. If not for Scott or "Razor" I doubt half of the losers you see today would even be trying some of the shit they pretend is original.

When Scott left for WCW along with Kevin Nash (see MSG incident), his personal problems started to grow as his popularity did. Him and Nash formed an unstoppable tag team known as "The Outsiders" and then formed the NWO along with Hulk Hogan which was one of the greatest stables in the history of wrestling. For a while. Hall, Nash and Hogan were on top of the wrestling world and along with these accolades came more personal problems for Scott. His dependence on pills and alcohol became more and more evident as he would show up to tapings drunk and in many instances you can tell the moments where he drunk on the air. He would slur his words, dry heave in the middle of the ring and just stumble about potentially causing harm to himself and to other wrestlers.

When you open yourself up to pain of that nature, the only thing you can do is supplement that pain with more and more violent and intolerable pain. And the way to sustain this pain tolerance is through vicious emotional and mental pain. The only thing that hurts more than broken ribs, is a broken heart and while Scott's heart was the size of the state of Texas, it's fracture was twice the size with wounds twice as deep. I began to feel sorry for him as he was taken advantage of in front of millions of people each week. Public jokes on the air about his condition and contant redicule from GM Eric Bischoff and the on-air commentators only worsened his condition and led to more and more incidents of unprofressionalism. The pinnacle of this sad display came when that piece of shit Bischoff used his real life problems as part of a storyline where he was considered a "weak link" in the NWO. He would vomit on Eric Bischoff or be throwing up in the toilet. He'd be drunk at a bar crying and be confronted by Nash, who by this point wasn't playing along but actually asking Scott, "what the hell is wrong with you". If there is any footage of these incidents they show a glimpse into a world that is supposed to be all shits and giggles, all fake and laughs, but at times can be as serious and as depressing as life really is. When Nash was asking, "what happened to my best friend?" He really meant what happened to my best friend?

The Golden Era of Nash and Hall

After the pinnacle of Scott's "success" where he won numerous titles and was cited numerous times, he began to appear less and less frequently in WCW. Scott's ex-wife, whom he still loved immensely, Diana wrote an open letter to Eric Bischoff pleading with him to stop these deplorable angles as they were enabling him and encouraging his self-destructive behavior. But I guess letters from a woman who you still love deeply but are failing miserably, just make things worse. And that's what it did. Scott continued down that road and appeared sporadically until WCW's demise. While he had accumulated all these accomplishments, he was still in the gutter--sustaining on that pain and sorrow that he needed so sorely just to get through the fucking day.

Scott wrestled here and there in the WWE. His last big match was at Wrestlemania 18 against Stone Cold Steve Austin, a match which led to Austin's retirement out of anger from the company. Even then, despite all his accomplishments, wrestling Scott Hall was the equivelent of wrestling a joke--not because of his abilities which were inumerable but because of his personal life and that dependence on tragedy. Since then he has been back and forth through TNA, often times teaming with Nash. He appeared as recent as last December but then no-showed for a bunch of events. In the wrestling promotion in Puerto Rico he had won the championship, which was a big deal, but then proceeded to burn that bridge to the fucking ground as well by no-showing due to severe family issues which still eat at him to this very day.

I think the reason I was so drawn to Scott Hall was my knowledge some where inside of my fragile little boy's mind that this dude was fucked up. And in my little psyche, I knew that I was kind of like this guy this "bad" guy. Everything I have written in this little rant, in some way or another, relates to me and depsite the fact that the man has about thirty years on me, I still feel as if I have a bond with Scott in some personal way. Addicts and failures have a way of sticking together and realizing true personal pain when they see it. They strive to protect each other and something in me wanted to get up and kill everyone in WCW, especially Bischoff for encouraging Scott to destroy himself and his career for the sake of a few laughs and money. But I guess that's that wrestling is all about.

I love Scott. Even though I have never met him, I can honestly say that I have true love in my heart for anyone who cares that much about the world to let theirs fall apart. If I ever met him, I get the feeling I would give him a huge hug and let him know that he's not alone even though he's "the lone wolf". I would let the bad guy know that even though he's gone it alone, he's an inspiration to every other lone wolf that's braved the cold by themselves. I can tell he has a big heart. I can tell he loves his family. But I can also tell he's in an intense amount of pain. Whenever you see him and Nash together it's like his days are brighter and there seems to be some sort of glimmer of hope. But most of those gleams end up being flashes in the pan of constant depression. While there seems to be no hope, I can honestly look back and say some of the best matches I have ever seen were with Scott Hall. Any other wrestler who has wrestled with him will tell you the same thing. He could have been the greatest in my opinion. And in my opinion he's the greatest that never was. God bless you Scott, wherever you are.



Score one for the good guys.