Barack

So Obama was at my school today. It was national news. American University got a lot publicity out of this because Kennedy endorsed. They are painting him as the new Kennedy. Black guy sitting next to a Kennedy talkin about change? Brother gonna get himself shoooootttt. I'm just saying, Ted Kennedy has a history of being cursed (his brothers, his car, his scandals)--dude should be careful. Literally Kennedy is the equivalent of walking underneath a ladder holding a black cat in one hand and an open umbrella in the other...indoors.

Where do I stand on Obama? Does it really matter? I wish I would have been there, unfortunately I was too busy writing some self-indulgent essay on myself for a class. Then I had to skate like hell to class to turn it in, only to remember that it was Obama day on American Unveristy, which will likely become a holiday now for this school.

I enjoy that Obama is so idealistic. I enjoy the fact that he pulls a lot of people together. Maybe it's just the cynic in me or the realist in me, but I just--don't know. This idea of idealism and happiness quite frankly freaks me out. I wish to hell I could be more gung-ho about this, but I'm just not. I haven't really heard a convincing plan outside of hippy diplomacy from this guy and the fact that someone like that might be going abroad to places such as Venenzuela, Cuba, Iran or North Korea advocating this scares the shit out of me.

Another thing that bothers me about this dude is the fact that everyone seems to think he's unbeatable, invincible, INDESTRUCTABLE, like the Patriots. He might have won Iowa. He might have won South Carolina. He might have support from THE KENNEDYS. But those are all Institutionally Democratic victories. He has yet to be tested against the harsh criticism and scrutiny that is REDNECK MIDDLE AND SOUTHERN AMERICA. In other words to put it bluntly and frankly: he is black.

I hate to be so cut and dry about it and so 2-dimensional about this aspect but in the end, I do believe it has a HUGE effect on the way people in these countries vote. The United States isn't just California and New England, although many people wish it was. The United States are all the states in between and in the end, those bible wielding, gun-toting, Jesus loving people are the ones that will decide the next president. And I don't mean too stereotype, but I don't think most of them will vote for a black man. I just don't think we are that our society had progressed that much that people will look past the color of his skin. Once again, I wish I could put more faith in my fellow American and think to myself that these people will look past that and see that he would make a decent leader, but I just can't. I don't have that much faith in America.

Regardless of his skin color, I will not be voting for Mr. Obama. I just don't think he's earned his chops yet nor do I think he fully understands the problems that come with such a position. I'm not saying I do, but I would rather have someone who would have a better idea than a JUNIOR senator from the "problem-riddled" state of Illlinois. I still don't know who exactly I will be voting for but I have a good idea. Nonetheless I do not think he is undefeatable. I believe he can and WILL be defeated unfortunately if he is the Democratic candidate. I believe the Republicans could run a robot with a bible and he would still have an outside shot at beating him.

I hate to sound cheesy and cliche but I really can't think of any better analogy right now than that of the Super Bowl. The Patriots, like Obama, are seen as undefeatable and in charage of their own destiny. They both stand on the precipice of unparalleled history. Yet, they aren't invincible. The waning weeks of the Patriots season exposed weaknesses and if anything, we can make weaknesses in Obama's strategic planning for his presidency already. Anybody could be the New York Giants to his Patriots. McCain was once seen as down and out, with virtually no chance--a laughingstock--like Eli and the Giants. And now he's in a heated race with Romney for the canidacy. Hilary Clinton has made a living on this campaign of being "the comeback kid". Hell even Huckabee has Chuck Norris.

Okay, so that last one is a joke. But the bottom line is that this guy can be beaten regardless of all the media hubub surrounding him. The only thing is, please don't let Mitt Romney win. If he wins, I just don't think I could do this anymore. I see no point in going on. I'll do myself a favor and just end it all. I really hate that dude.

So that's my take on this dude. If anyone wants to discuss, just let me know. Bottom line: we don't have to worry about Communism because of Rocky. I MUST CRUSH YOU.

- C-Mo

Scumbag Casanova

Monday, January 07, 2008

More tops of 2007: TOP 5 MOVIES of 2007.

As I said earlier, I feel that as a man of the arts and a frequenter of art establishments, I think that I am qualified to criticize certain things that are close to me. Plus, I wrote reviews for my sometimes-credible student newspaper so fuck off, I can do what I want. This year was a fucking GREAT year for movies. Sure you get the blockbusters that killed at the box office like "Superbad" and "Good Luck Chuck" (masterpiece of cinema), but there were just a great number of movies that were released this year that made 2007 a great year for cinema. These are my top 5 because I can't remember all of the movies I saw this year.

5.)The Ten - I might have written a review for this already, but I don't care. This was definitely one of the funniest films of 2007 and regardless of its polarizing effect on the audience, I thought it was another genius work from David Wain and Ken Marino. Paul Rudd shined in this as did Oliver Platt, surprisingly. Seeing his Eddie Murphy impersonation was well worth putting in my top 5 alone. And Justin Theraux as a segway-riding Mexican Jesus, fucking genius. The only thing that kept this movie from truly outshining "Wet Hot" were the abscence of farts. Although, "El Hombre De Vagina" was almost like an hour and a half of fart tracks anyway.

4.) Lars and the Real Girl - I down played this movie as much as I could because I didn't want my girlfriend to know, but I honestly loved this film. Ryan Gosling has some of the greatest range for an actor that young I've ever seen. It's eccentric, goofy, poignant, and at times depressing, which in the world of Chris, makes for an awesome film. In addition, I never knew such a touching acting performance could be given from an inanimate object, namely the character of "Natasha" in this film. She plays the uh, "love doll". But what was so amazing was that the writers and director were able to deal with a subject that might otherwise be seen as perverted and just plain disgusting and turn it into an honest love story of a real relationship. Yes, the women might have been inanimate, but her presence in the film is stronger than anything Jessica Alba, Biel or Megan Fox could ever dream of doing. You heard me right, a sex doll is a better actress than those three. This gets my vote for the cutest fucking move of 2007.

3.)No Country for Old Men - I might be in the minority on this one, but while this movie was fucking incredible, I don't think it was the best film of this year. Still, this movie is worth watching over and over again and in my mind is an instant classic. I loved this movie from start to finish as it let me know that Tommy Lee Jones has still got it and is not pitifully comical to watch and that Josh Brolin could in fact, act his way out of a paper bag. Oh mama, can he. His performance was the most inspired performance of a man trying to go straight that I've ever seen since Tim Robbins in Mystic River. Woody is always great, but fuck--Javier Bardem. HOLY FUCK IS THAT GUY SCARY. If Javier Bardem doesn't win an Oscar for playing the most creepy motherfucker of all time, you can all blow me because his performance not only stole the fucking movie. It was the movie. The movie works on so many levels as a philosophical retrospective, as a thriller, as an adventure, hell it even works as a modern-day western. What really made the movie for me though, was the themes within the movie, more specifically that of getting old. Yeah, I know it's in the title, but the subject of age and randomness is dealt with so carefully in this film, that it almost makes it tragic to watch as everything basically falls apart. While the ending is somewhat introspective, the movie leaves you with an unsettling depiction of twilight crisis. And if it makes you think as you are going, "that movie kicked ass", it's definitely done its job.

2.)Diggers - No one saw this movie. And when I mean no one, I mean fucking no one. I am probably the only person that bought the DVD. This goes to show you that marketing your film to be in theatres and on DVD at the same time can be "novel" but hurtful as well. And it is a god damned shame, because up until the next film on the list, this was my pick for best movie of this year. Once again, maybe I'm biased because the people involved with this movie are some of my all time heroes, but I was honestly not holding out much expectation for this serious movie written by of all people Ken Marino. This is Marino's second appearance on my list for writing and this time it was for a movie that is not only moving but touching on so many levels. Much like "No Country" was about the advancement to another natural state of life, this movie deals with growing older, instead focusing on the perils of responsibility that come with middle age. The characters in this movie, who never left their small town all deal with tragedy in their own way. This was by far Paul Rudd's best performance in a movie to date and I don't understand why he isn't considered more for roles such as these. His portrayal of an afflicted middle-aged, small town man whose father just died, is so honest that it makes you feel as if he is your best friend. And Ken Marino, holy shit, who knew that guy could act seriously in addition to comically. To me, his performance steals the movie and if it were up to me, he would get my best supporting actor nod. Mix in some great performances from Maura Tierney, Lauren Ambrose and the other characters, and you have a movie that not only had a lot of heart but a lot of substance. This was the only film of the entire year that almost led me to tears. Great, underrated film.

1.)THERE WILL BE BLOOD - HOLY FUCKING CHRIST SHIT. HOLY--HOLY SHIT. Where do I begin with this movie? I didn't write a review because I honestly don't think any one of my crappy reviews would do it justice, let alone a little blurb on a list of good movies. Simply put, this might be the greatest movie I've ever seen. I love love LOVE all of Paul Thomas Anderson's movies, as "Punch-Drunk Love" is one of my favorite movies of all time. But this film just outdoes everything he does and completely abolishes any hopes anyone else will ever have of making a movie similar to this. Critics have said that this is a departure for him, but if you know Anderson, and see the movie, you know that it isn't. If anything it's just Anderson delving deeper into his own deranged mind and exploring in more depth, the HUGE concepts that lie on the surface of his other films. Even the style is notably Anderson as his tricks with light and dark in the film give it that extra sense of eerieness. Well see here's the problem as I go on, I sound more technical and it takes away from the fact that this movie simply FUCKING DESTROYED ME. This movie is deranged as all fuck, and I love it. Daniel Day Lewis is an acting God. I have loved everything he does done. I hated Gangs of New York, but loved his character. If Bill the Butcher just spent an hour and a half killing people and destryoing life that would have been an awesome movie, well I got my wish. Two and a half hours of Daniel Day Lewis shattering every dream and hope you ever had of being sucessful. The writing in this movie is so amazing as Daniel Day Lewis' lines are just simply amazing. I AM THAT GUY. Listening to the dialouge and reciting the lines in my head, this character of Daniel Plainview is the closest one will ever come to truly capturing my view on society and people in general. Paul Dano's performance as an overzealous, outrageous preacher-man is extremely frightening as Dano once again plays a religious nut, but this time does it with more furiousity than any one of our modern "Billy Sundays". But back to Daniel Day Lewis and the movie, just---god. Holy shit. What an ending. What a movie. Simply put, THIS MOVIE WILL FUCKING DESTROY YOU. If you are hopeful in life, If you are optimistic, If you consider yourself a happy person, if you are in any way put off by negative things and like cute movies where everyone loves each other and everyone kisses and is happy, DON'T SEE THIS MOVIE. If you love happy endings DON'T SEE THIS MOVIE. This movie is seriously not for the weak at heart or the weak of stomach. Take your ten dollars and go see some kissy-crap-fest like Juno (which to be honest wasn't THAT bad). However, if you aren't this way, see this movie ASAP. This movie was made for people like me, it is literally the cinematic version of "punk-rock for people hanging on by a thread".






Dissappointments of 2007: Across the Universe, Black Snake Moan, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, The Simpsons Movie, Juno

Other good movies: Ratatouille, Knocked Up, Superbad, Live Free or Die Hard (for serious)




Darn, HOW COULD I FORGET "WILD HOGS", anybody?

- Chris