Top Ten Albums 2009
So another year in music has come and gone. I usually reserve this list for right up until I know no more good music will be released. With the release of the last great album of 2009, Russian Circles' "Geneva", I know that the year has finally drawn to a close. While I want to put Russian Circles on this list because of this amazing record, there were simply too many to ignore. For the first time ever, I actually had to puss out and have a tie because some albums were just too difficult to distiguish between in terms of their effect on me and the number of times I listened to them. There were a lot of great albums that came out this year and it was really really hard for me to narrow it down. I'm leaving some albums like the new Grunt, or the new Paramore off of the list and it fucking kills me. But in the end, these albums to me, stood out head and shoulders above the rest and got their play on my last.fm in.

To start off though I want to first name the biggest disappointments of the year so I can start off on a bad foot and work my way up to end on a high note:

Hip hop 2009: Seriously dude, what the fuck happened? You ruled so hard last year and this year saw a series of half assed releases from Jay-Z, Ghostface, Three Six, and even THE MOTHERFUCKNG CLIPSE!! Dude that album was the straight wackness. I realize you stopped cooking and selling crack, but if that's what it does to your music, you guys need to seriously think about cooking again.

Beard Rock: Now, I always hated bands like Fleet Foxes, Grizzly Bear, My Morning Jacket, etc etc. But it seemed this year, they were everywhere and I wanted to claw my fucking ears off. I hate this shitty, kermit the frog on a mountain sounding, shit and if I have to here one more medeval times sounding song from anyone of these bands, I am going to smack a bitch.

Animal Collective: That's right. After a brilliant 2007, Animal Collective came back with THE WORST RECORD OF THE ENTIRE YEAR and quite possibly one of the worst records of the days. Gone are the days of cool and noisy experimentation mixed with that sweet Brian Wilson-esqe sound, and here are the days of piss poor song writing, and half assed Pet Sounds outtakes. I loved Strawberry Jam and while I am looking foward to the new Panda Bear, this album to me, is sadly a giant disasterpiece. When you see college frat boys playing this at their bars and parties because they want to score and girls "totally eat this shit up", you know it's time to hang it up boys. Geologist can keep his crappy DJ job. Avey can go back to making terrible folk-noise. And Panda Bear can live on as the sole genius. CCongratulations, you've ran what was once an amazing band (see: Sung Tongs) straight into the shithole.

Anyways, enough bashing. Here is the happy part of the blogging, complete with lists and compliments galore. First here is a short list of ones that came oh so close:

Marble Sky - Some Laughing Afterwards: A beautiful tape that had a very dramatic effect on me this year. The first time Witscher has used pianos and it turned out to be one of the more gorgeous releases of the year.

Russian Circles - Geneva: The most mature release to date from post-metal rockers out of Chicago. Complete with strings, and beautiful backdrops, it's hard not to fall in love with this record. Plus, it totally slays.

Paramore - Brand New Eyes: Hayley Williams has stepped up her game both lyrically and vocally. She is far beyond her years as a song writer and no where is it more evident than on this album.

Grunt - Petturien Rooli: Mikko Aspa's honoring of his homeland is his opus and to me, his best record of all time. His brand of PE has evolved to include all the elements of noise he has touched upon over his illustrious career. Harsh electroncs, PE, synths, sound collages, chains, it's all here and brutal as all fuck. Cannot say enough about how much I love this record.

Here's the list.

10.)Cold Cave - Love Comes Close
(Heartworm Press)

I went back and forth between putting this at number ten. I didn't want a tie in one spot, but with the release of the accompanying "Death Comes Close" there was just no way in hell I wasn't going to have this on here. It was an amazing album where Wes pulled together all of the resources he had acquired for the past two years with this project. It was his opus, and as someone who grew up watching and idolizing Wes, I couldn't be happier. It's poppy, yes. It's moody, yes. It's dangerously on the gay side in terms of new wave goth retro, but I don't care. It's the guilty pleasure I will never be guilty of. "Life Magazine" might be the best single to come out all year and Carolee's voice is as charming and intoxicating as it ever was with Xiu Xiu. Add Dom to the mix, and that makes it five straight years that bastard has made it on to my list. Good job asshole. I love Cold Cave. I love cheezy synth dark pop, what can I say?

9.)Converge - Axe To Fall
(Epitaph)

What more can I say about this album that hasn't been said before? It's Jake's response to all the critics and assholes that said Converge had fallen off. It's his metal double cross. It's his giant fuck you to the music community. If you want to read more about it, read my review. This album is death/murder/rape on an entirely different level. Nuff said.

8.)(Tie)Emeralds - What Happened?/Yellow Tears - Don't Cry

(No Fun)
This was the number I had the most difficulty with. These two albums came out at the beginning of the year and took my ears by sonic force. With Emeralds, I have already said my peace on that album (see What Happened review). I will say this. I got a chance to see Emeralds coming off of mescaline since then and it was one of the most powerful forces I have ever seen, almost as powerful as the first time I saw them. And when I saw thm at No Fun, I felt as if I had been levitated and blown into space. This album has it all. For the droney in me, it has "Damaged Kids" and for the drug farce that is my soul, "Dissappearing Ink" is a fucking anthem. Truly an amazing album that I recommend to everyone on earth now.

(Hospital)
Yellow Tears are a different breed. This is the first time since Whitehouse that I was truly ever captivated and blown away by a PE album. Their prior efforts "Soaked in your brother's tears" and "Pissmop" were great records, but kind if kitschy and straight ahead in their approach. This album was about as conceptual and abstract as one can get. Mixing elements of the best Philip Best concepts and crafting it into their own sound, Yellow Tears created an album of dispair, sorrow and sheer terror. Without saying a god damned word too. Sound collage, field recordings, and scary fucking noise. And that is what I love the most. This is way more brutal than pissmop, and their most gory album to date. Anytime you can outbrutalize yourself without saying a god damned word, you've done some astounding. This is by far the best PE album I've heard in the last five years.

7.)Pedestrian Deposit - Austere
(Monorail Tresspassing)

The last time PD was on my list it was for Jon's landmark album "Vestige". The last time Jon was on my list period was for his landmark album "Coveting" as Emaciator. I think you can see a trend here. This man is a fucking genius and is making a habit of showing up every year on this list. This album blew me away on an emotional level. I wasn't sure how the new element of Shannon would add to the frustrated dynamic of the project, but I'll be damned if her viola didn't add a completely new layer of seething energy. This album, as with other PD albums, builds and builds and builds. There are short bursts of complete and utter decimation, before you thrown back into your furious longing. Where before PD used to be about beauty in destruction, Jon has found an unhappy balance between jealous rage and complete insanity. The noise has evolved from harsh electronics, to seething and angry drone accompanied with organs and drones with short bursts of pedal destruction when they need to be shown. This album isn't Jon beating the shit out of you like before. It's Jon flexing his noise muscle, warning you that you didn't break him, and if you think you did, you will be hurt.

6.) Pissed Jeans - King of Jeans
(Sub Pop)

Yes, yes, yes, OH GOD YES. I had been looking forward to this album since they released "Hope For Men" (one of the best albums of this decade) and Pissed Jeans did not dissappoint in any manner or fashion. This is the band of the moment and the record of the moment for me as I have grown into adulthood with this sleazy, monotonous, loud, obnoxious, grimy, drunk, shitty excuse for a hardcore punk band. I wanted to bang "Boring Girls" when I was sick and listening to "Shallow". I sneered at all the assholes and "Joggers" as I moved into a place of my own with "Hope for Men" and now, I am an old alcholic who says "NO TO EVERYTHING!". If you don't know about this band and the throwback Flipper way in which they tear through live sets and albums, then you don't deserve to be reading this. Fuck you. Egg Nogger. I'm running a pleasure race, and I don't want you anywhere near me when it goes off. Neither do they.

5.)Real Estate - S/T
(Woodsist)

June, Summer of this year. I turn it on XMU the "indie" station on XM radio, and I am completely blown away by this jaunty little stoner surf jam called "Beach Comber". In the coming days, I had downloaded the CDR Real Estate had self released and awaited eagerly for their full length to come out all year. I was not let down. While it is a collection of all their prior jams, the production on this album takes it to another level. A simple band like Real Estate, one might be afraid that over production would ruin an album. But they hit it just right finding the happy medium between noisy drone pop and well crafted surf jams. "Suburban Beverage" conveys my sentiments exactly. I want to be at home, on the beach, cracking open a beer, smoking a blunt, and watching the tide move in and out. Matt from Ducktails is in this band and it's no surprise. He brings the same type of boardwalk chill to this record as he does in Ducktails. The guitar works are angular but just simple enough to draw the listener into this Jersey bands' version of island paradise. Imagine walking with a date, hand in hand as the sun goes down, and drinking some brews as you make out in the sand. That feels so good. And that's how this album makes feel. Really damn good.

4.)Secret Abuse - The Immeasurable Gift
(Arbor)

I was tempted to put the Marble Sky "Laughing" Tape on here given its significance to me, but it was only like 15-20 minutes long. This is a full album and I can safely say without complete equivocation, this is Witscher's masterpiece. I loved "Violent Narcissus" last year and "Walking Alone for Days" was one of my favorite records period of 2007, but this is his opus. Emotionally, sonically, musically, this record might be one of the greatest drone records to be made this decade or ever. Jeff continues his damaged guitar works and wretches it out into blissful decay as you watch your father die in front of you. This album is haunting and beautiful in ways post-rock albums could never be. The thick layer of distortion and feedback that permeates through the entire album adds a broken quality to the album that just makes it more sad and depressing. I am secure enough in my masculinity to say that I have cried many nights to this album because of it's poetic distortion. "Carefully Opening The Window" is my favorite noise track of the entire year. I don't know how Jeff does it, but he manages to hit so close to home, without saying anything audibly. It's all in the damaged guitars and the destructive manner in which he conveys complete and utter helplessness.

3.)Skyramps - Days of Thunder
(Wagon)

Part of what makes my records of the year so amazing is their ability to come out of no where. That same drugged up experience at Emeralds, I picked up a record that Mark was selling of him and Daniel from Oneohtrix Pointnever called "Skyramps". I put it on and was immediately drugged up again. There were no drug in my system at the point (maybe), it was all music. It's really hard to describe this. It's Mark McGuire (the guitarist from Emeralds) and Daniel who makes these glorious bastions of keyboard synthesizers which harken back to the days of old star shows at the planetarium and educational videos about the universe from the 70's. I have no other phrase to describe except out of this world. Imagine watching a video on what space is like in the 70's, except acually being in space. This combined with Mark's amazing guitar loops made for an album that literally had my eyes dilated, flashbacking into a time that never existed. The moment I heard the first track "Flight Simulator" I was like, holy shit, I am moving off of this chair and going on a ride. I really don't know what to say about this album that can be technical or critical or even poetic. It just sounds so fucking cool. Who doesn't want to be taken away into space on a magic guitar ride with synthesizers and stars? If you don't there is something seriously wrong with you. This is to me the coolest album of the entire year, and one I never would have discovered if I hadn't taken a chance.

2.)Wolf Eyes - Always Wrong
(Hospital)

Yes. This is Wolf Eyes. Yes they are my favorite band period and everyone knows that. With that said, this is their best album since "Burned Mind" "Mugger" or any of the "Undertakers". This is by far their best wide release since "Burned Mind." It is FUCKING BRUTAL. It annihalates in ways "Human Animal" couldn't. It destroys in ways prior tape releases might have lacked. It is complete and utter audible rape in punishing ways, I have never heard before. It is anger, guilt, frustration, and violence in a manner in which Wolf Eyes have never conveyed before, at least not since "Dead". Hatred at unprecedented levels; never before seen to man. Where prior releases were concerned with the obvious tension and release format in which standard punk is made. This is Wolf Eyes' fuck you to noise, punk, music and you. The music drags, boils and reaches fever pitch levels before it continues to burn you in unrelenting fashion. The music drags, punch after bloody punch and Nate's lyrics are actually discernable. "Eyes sick with every bad piss". In the Cellar starts off the album masterfully conveying that angry sense of frustration before "Broken Order" pummels you repeatedly. When it's all said and done, "We All Hate You" has taken away all ounces of dignity from you in ways we were never accustomed to seeing before from this band. Typically Wolf Eyes has a psychedelic element of fun to their brand of noise, but there is nothing fun about this record. It's non stop vitriol. It's volatile, toxic and downright scary to listen to. Listener discretion should definitely be advised. I fucking love this record. I think it will stand out as the last great noise record of the decade for the the listed reasons. Be forewarned though, if you are used to the happy, party, drugged up fist pumping of earlier Wolf Eyes, prepare to be dissappointed and/or surprised. Wolf Eyes adoesn't want to party with you. And they make that perfectly clear, "FUCK YOU. WE ALL HATE YOU".

1.)Terrors - Inequipoise
(Monorail Tresspassing)

I mentioned something earlier about the unexpected being the best. And no where is it more relevant than my favorite record of the ENTIRE YEAR. "Inequipoise" by this anonymous dude named "Terrors". Not much is known about this guy or what he's about. I asked around and even got emails about how much this guy's other tapes fucking suck and how much of an asshole he is. Something tells me they are keeping the secret because they do not want word to get out about how fucking amazing this man is. I learned a couple of years ago that sometimes less is so so so much more (see: Bon Iver). With a simple, reverbed and heavily fuzzed guitar, a keyboard, and a barely audible voice, Terrors has created a work of beauty unmatched by any other "indie" "drone" or "noise" artist. This to me, is what heaven sounds like. Each song is carefully crafted, blending elements of noise, drone and pop into an unclassifiable sound that can only be described as inevitably tragic. The lyrics tug at your heartstrings "all this living has got to lead somewhere" and the broken way in which his voice sounds is so haunting. You can barely hear it, which makes you wonder if it was a ghost that recorded this record. It sounds as if it was recorded on a floor, in this giant hall haunted with spirits. And That is the perfect analysis to me of this record. It is as if a ghost decided to sit down, and recite for you the story of his death. It's sorrowful, debilitating, and at times very scary in the way it conveys its message. It's almost as if he knows something we don't. Like we're dead and he's not. Maybe that's why everyone is keeping him a secret. They are in on it, and we aren't. Bummer. This is the first time a cassette only release has made it to the top of my list, but I couldn't be prouder. There were only 150 of them pressed, but one can find it online. If pieces like "Turn Out the Cradle" cause you to question your existence, I think it's probably a wonderful thing ("mortal god, angry god, somber god"). If you do not get choked up or moved by listening to this record, I think maybe you might be a ghost. It is too haunting, too disturbing (in a good way), and too gorgeous not to be my favorite record. This tape, at least for me, whether dead or really alive, will stand the test of time. As any good ghost knows, souls live on forever. Even after John Cusack fails to save the world.

Anyways, that's it for now and that's the list for this year! I hope you guys like some of them, or at least don't think I'm a pretentious asshole. I like noise. That's a given. But I like whatever doesn't suck. I hope this makes for stimulating conversation. Give me a holler, and drop a doller. I'm broke motherfuckers. Until the next shitpiece. Later Skater.

- The Man Who Was Defeated By the Year 2009

Scumbag Casanova

Thursday, December 10, 2009

Life

FINALLY. Someone gets it. You know in life, one has to stand up for themselves no matter what the penalties may be. If you are acosted of your rights, your liberties, and your natural abilities to live life in America the way you want to, you must stand up for yourself.

Let this be a warning to any of you. If any of you try and fuck with me, my family, my friends or my freedom, I will in fact pull out my johnson. And I will not hesitate to skeet skeet all over your face, house, family and your first born. This, to prove a point: you don't fuck with a man and his American Dream.

If only our forefathers had thought of this. We would have won America from those limey Swedes a looooooooooooong time ago. Fuck you Osama, I'm cumming for your ass.



- Skeeter.

Scumbag Casanova

Sunday, December 06, 2009

The Kids All Suck

I get a lot of dirty looks whenever I go to punk shows now. It's not because of how I look or dress. For the most part, all grown up punks dress the same, no matter how cleverly they try and describe it. The things I talk about aren't really punk matters. I don't agree with most of their political philosophies: both Nazi and radical left. I don't agree with most of their life philosophies. I'm not Vegan. I'm not straight-edge. I'm not for legalizing drugs. I don't give a shit about strangers I have no connection to. I don't really give a shit about the world. I don't really give a shit about anything really. I'm about as nihilistic as one could be for a twenty-two year old drunk.

The thing is, I don't flaunt this. People ask me questions so I respond, and that response is usually met with dissappointment: you mean you AREN'T one of us? No. I'm not. I use to be. There was a time in my life when all of this bullshit actually meant something to me. That time was called adolecence. That was the only time I felt like being idealistic and pushing me views onto other kids. I hated the government. I hated white people. I hated Democrats who "felt for me" and wanted to exploit me. I was all in line with that idea of white guilt.

When I moved to Washington DC I expected to find a legion of kids who felt the same way I did. I was sadly mistaken. I found many a rich-kids who told me they knew what it was like to be poor because THEY CHOSE to live a life of poverty. Excuse me? Fuck you. I didn't choose to grow up with less. That's just how it was. If I would have chosen, I would have chose to be rich, snotty, with all the advantages that so many of my so-called "bretheren" had. I was enraged and became even more of an outcast coming to DC, as I felt ostracized from the one community I was sure I was going to find acceptance in.

I met a small group of kids from modest backgrounds, and to tell you the truth, they were some of the nicest kids I could meet. They didn't judge me for my beliefs. They didn't care where I was from or what I thought about. They never pressed their ideals (as crazy as some of them were) on me. They let me know that it was alright to live my life by whatever means I wanted to: as long as it was working to some sort of theraputic means. They knew shit was fucked up and that people do things to cope. They just hoped kids would have the better sense to stay strong and have the mental will power to prove it. I was encouraged by this and attempted to have this mental tenacity that without, I would probably be dead at this point.

Unfortunately though these kids were few and far between. Many of them disappeared, or became greatly reduced in numbers as they had to take jobs to support themselves or their families. The scene began to need more and more kids from suburbia that had the money, support, and education to fund some of the projects. After a while, it became a sea of familiar faces, shouting about some new cause, that I legitamately just did not give two shits about. In my life, things were always so fucked up I only had time to worry about two things: my loved ones and myself. I couldn't get wrapped up in this nonsense of mother earth because I for one wished the world would end. The more I tried to convey this point, the more the kids just kind of stopped wanting to talk to me.

I always thank those who never judged me or who engaged me and never took things personally. I say things in jest many times, and it can come off as insenstive or just plain ignorant. But the truth of the matter is, I am an educated person who was always willing to talk to you, if you just asked me a legitamate question and didn't write me off. A lot of the poor kids began to leech off of the privalaged kids, and while I can't blame them for that, getting jeers and looks because of your own self-conciousness was never a ticket to my respect. I can think of a couple of people I love and wanted to respect off the top of my head, but I never could because of their fear of being rejected, or their arrogant belief that their way was the only way.

Sometimes things don't work that way. Sometimes, things fail. I'm not saying people shouldn't try and change things, I'm just saying I don't have the time, money, energy, support, to put my blood sweat and tears into something that isn't going to have a violent reaction. If you fuck with me, my family, or the ones I love, there will be a violent reaction. And as the case with many of these superfluous causes, I see no point in risking my limited resources for something that is seen more as a social engagement. It will not "change over time". It will change when someone blows something up. And I guess, god forbid someone I love be there, because then that would lead to more blowing up.

But it's this type of reaction that garners negative attention from people I worked so hard to impress upon my arrival in DC. When I was 16, I played a show in East Los Angeles wth a couple of my friends' bands. It was a record relese party so it was a huge show. After my band's set, I walked out to the curb, water bottle in hand, and sat down to catch my breath. My friend came barreling up behind me and flung a 40 bottle at a cop car. It shattered on impact and my friend ran away leaving me there with the cops. The cops beat the crap out of me and threw me in the cop car only to find out after a breathalyzer test that I had not had a lick to drink that night. They apologized half-assedly and released me. My friend came up to me and thanked me for that. He pat me on the back and laughed about it. He handed me a beer, and although I wanted to beat the shit out of him, I laughed right along, put the beer down, grabbed my shit, and hightailed it out of there as I was certain the cops were going to come back and beat the crap out of everyone. They came back and they did unleash hell. I was no where to be seen.

That night punk rock failed me. It was the first in a series of events that would let me know that this ultimate ideal of DOING IT YOURSELF and RAILING AGAINST THE MAN IN UNITY is utterly pointless. It was my first and only encounter with police but it was enough to let me know that there was a way things worked in this world. And as long as you were fightin against those in power, you were destined to be fucked. No pig beating on PBS was ever going to change that. I was there for the LA RIOTS. I remember seeing the flames from our home in Echo Park. I remember my father being terrified that my mom worked downtown. I remember everyone was so pissed off and that while things got fucked up, things ultimately stayed the same. Because when it comes right down to it. You have yourself, your girl, and your family. When it came to the kids: they could go to hell. The kids all suck.

Once again, I don't say this to be poetic or that I know more. I don't know shit and I don't want to know shit. Because the more I find out, the more I wish I just didn't know. Like I said before, I don't believe in much, and I thank all of you who realized this and respected my positions. Most of the time I respected yours. But to all of those who judged me and thought they were better than me, I hope you sleep well in either your republican-induced boxes or your democratic-party funded mansions one day. Because when that day comes where someone fucks with me or my family, you will see terror and hatred on levels unprecedented. I hope that never happens. And it probably never will. All I know is that while I don't have much, I am willing to fight for the few things I DO have and that pertain to me keeping it. Any REAL person whom people pretend to represent will tell you the same. Given the choice between poverty or wealth, I'll take wealth any day and so would they. That's the difference between you and me.

Anyways, here is a song that represents how I feel about "the kids". It's by some shitty punk band I always liked called The Problematics. They were kind of a punk band parody which is why I loved them. They hated punk. They hated themselves. And they hated you. No veils. No fakeness. Just pure unadulterated resentment for everyone. That rules.




Note: if anyone really does want to talk to me about shit and not just scream AT ME, I would love to have some chats. I am pretty friendly contrary to this whiny rant.

- Chris Rotten

Scumbag Casanova

Wednesday, December 02, 2009

Mark McGuire is the shit.

And not the roided up baseball farce. The fucking brilliant guitarist for Emeralds. Although maybe he is taking like guitaroids or something. Because the way he plays the fucking thing, it just ain't a natural.

Mark McGuire is a cosmic force on guitar. And one of the best young guitarists out there period. He is the fucking shit.


I defy you to tell me anything different.