More tops of 2007: TOP 5 MOVIES of 2007.

As I said earlier, I feel that as a man of the arts and a frequenter of art establishments, I think that I am qualified to criticize certain things that are close to me. Plus, I wrote reviews for my sometimes-credible student newspaper so fuck off, I can do what I want. This year was a fucking GREAT year for movies. Sure you get the blockbusters that killed at the box office like "Superbad" and "Good Luck Chuck" (masterpiece of cinema), but there were just a great number of movies that were released this year that made 2007 a great year for cinema. These are my top 5 because I can't remember all of the movies I saw this year.

5.)The Ten - I might have written a review for this already, but I don't care. This was definitely one of the funniest films of 2007 and regardless of its polarizing effect on the audience, I thought it was another genius work from David Wain and Ken Marino. Paul Rudd shined in this as did Oliver Platt, surprisingly. Seeing his Eddie Murphy impersonation was well worth putting in my top 5 alone. And Justin Theraux as a segway-riding Mexican Jesus, fucking genius. The only thing that kept this movie from truly outshining "Wet Hot" were the abscence of farts. Although, "El Hombre De Vagina" was almost like an hour and a half of fart tracks anyway.

4.) Lars and the Real Girl - I down played this movie as much as I could because I didn't want my girlfriend to know, but I honestly loved this film. Ryan Gosling has some of the greatest range for an actor that young I've ever seen. It's eccentric, goofy, poignant, and at times depressing, which in the world of Chris, makes for an awesome film. In addition, I never knew such a touching acting performance could be given from an inanimate object, namely the character of "Natasha" in this film. She plays the uh, "love doll". But what was so amazing was that the writers and director were able to deal with a subject that might otherwise be seen as perverted and just plain disgusting and turn it into an honest love story of a real relationship. Yes, the women might have been inanimate, but her presence in the film is stronger than anything Jessica Alba, Biel or Megan Fox could ever dream of doing. You heard me right, a sex doll is a better actress than those three. This gets my vote for the cutest fucking move of 2007.

3.)No Country for Old Men - I might be in the minority on this one, but while this movie was fucking incredible, I don't think it was the best film of this year. Still, this movie is worth watching over and over again and in my mind is an instant classic. I loved this movie from start to finish as it let me know that Tommy Lee Jones has still got it and is not pitifully comical to watch and that Josh Brolin could in fact, act his way out of a paper bag. Oh mama, can he. His performance was the most inspired performance of a man trying to go straight that I've ever seen since Tim Robbins in Mystic River. Woody is always great, but fuck--Javier Bardem. HOLY FUCK IS THAT GUY SCARY. If Javier Bardem doesn't win an Oscar for playing the most creepy motherfucker of all time, you can all blow me because his performance not only stole the fucking movie. It was the movie. The movie works on so many levels as a philosophical retrospective, as a thriller, as an adventure, hell it even works as a modern-day western. What really made the movie for me though, was the themes within the movie, more specifically that of getting old. Yeah, I know it's in the title, but the subject of age and randomness is dealt with so carefully in this film, that it almost makes it tragic to watch as everything basically falls apart. While the ending is somewhat introspective, the movie leaves you with an unsettling depiction of twilight crisis. And if it makes you think as you are going, "that movie kicked ass", it's definitely done its job.

2.)Diggers - No one saw this movie. And when I mean no one, I mean fucking no one. I am probably the only person that bought the DVD. This goes to show you that marketing your film to be in theatres and on DVD at the same time can be "novel" but hurtful as well. And it is a god damned shame, because up until the next film on the list, this was my pick for best movie of this year. Once again, maybe I'm biased because the people involved with this movie are some of my all time heroes, but I was honestly not holding out much expectation for this serious movie written by of all people Ken Marino. This is Marino's second appearance on my list for writing and this time it was for a movie that is not only moving but touching on so many levels. Much like "No Country" was about the advancement to another natural state of life, this movie deals with growing older, instead focusing on the perils of responsibility that come with middle age. The characters in this movie, who never left their small town all deal with tragedy in their own way. This was by far Paul Rudd's best performance in a movie to date and I don't understand why he isn't considered more for roles such as these. His portrayal of an afflicted middle-aged, small town man whose father just died, is so honest that it makes you feel as if he is your best friend. And Ken Marino, holy shit, who knew that guy could act seriously in addition to comically. To me, his performance steals the movie and if it were up to me, he would get my best supporting actor nod. Mix in some great performances from Maura Tierney, Lauren Ambrose and the other characters, and you have a movie that not only had a lot of heart but a lot of substance. This was the only film of the entire year that almost led me to tears. Great, underrated film.

1.)THERE WILL BE BLOOD - HOLY FUCKING CHRIST SHIT. HOLY--HOLY SHIT. Where do I begin with this movie? I didn't write a review because I honestly don't think any one of my crappy reviews would do it justice, let alone a little blurb on a list of good movies. Simply put, this might be the greatest movie I've ever seen. I love love LOVE all of Paul Thomas Anderson's movies, as "Punch-Drunk Love" is one of my favorite movies of all time. But this film just outdoes everything he does and completely abolishes any hopes anyone else will ever have of making a movie similar to this. Critics have said that this is a departure for him, but if you know Anderson, and see the movie, you know that it isn't. If anything it's just Anderson delving deeper into his own deranged mind and exploring in more depth, the HUGE concepts that lie on the surface of his other films. Even the style is notably Anderson as his tricks with light and dark in the film give it that extra sense of eerieness. Well see here's the problem as I go on, I sound more technical and it takes away from the fact that this movie simply FUCKING DESTROYED ME. This movie is deranged as all fuck, and I love it. Daniel Day Lewis is an acting God. I have loved everything he does done. I hated Gangs of New York, but loved his character. If Bill the Butcher just spent an hour and a half killing people and destryoing life that would have been an awesome movie, well I got my wish. Two and a half hours of Daniel Day Lewis shattering every dream and hope you ever had of being sucessful. The writing in this movie is so amazing as Daniel Day Lewis' lines are just simply amazing. I AM THAT GUY. Listening to the dialouge and reciting the lines in my head, this character of Daniel Plainview is the closest one will ever come to truly capturing my view on society and people in general. Paul Dano's performance as an overzealous, outrageous preacher-man is extremely frightening as Dano once again plays a religious nut, but this time does it with more furiousity than any one of our modern "Billy Sundays". But back to Daniel Day Lewis and the movie, just---god. Holy shit. What an ending. What a movie. Simply put, THIS MOVIE WILL FUCKING DESTROY YOU. If you are hopeful in life, If you are optimistic, If you consider yourself a happy person, if you are in any way put off by negative things and like cute movies where everyone loves each other and everyone kisses and is happy, DON'T SEE THIS MOVIE. If you love happy endings DON'T SEE THIS MOVIE. This movie is seriously not for the weak at heart or the weak of stomach. Take your ten dollars and go see some kissy-crap-fest like Juno (which to be honest wasn't THAT bad). However, if you aren't this way, see this movie ASAP. This movie was made for people like me, it is literally the cinematic version of "punk-rock for people hanging on by a thread".






Dissappointments of 2007: Across the Universe, Black Snake Moan, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, The Simpsons Movie, Juno

Other good movies: Ratatouille, Knocked Up, Superbad, Live Free or Die Hard (for serious)




Darn, HOW COULD I FORGET "WILD HOGS", anybody?

- Chris