No Fun Fest Part I
No Fun came this year and I made it a priority to get my ass up to Brooklyn any way I could to see it. There was no way I was missing this again. So I woke up early, took the Greyhound up to Philly where my boy Frank picked me up and drove to New York from there. When we got there we found great parking and we boozed it up in his car before hand drinking burbon and coke through a straw. It was cute. We got out and started asking if people had any extra tickets. This one girl came up to us and said she had tickets but that we'd have to "wait". So time passed and she came back to us and asked my what my name was. I said, "Chris" and she went, "oh nevermind, I thought you were someone else." She walked away and we were fucking pissed and extremely angry.

We waited outside for a couple of more minutes before she came back up to us and said she didn't want her tickets, that all she wanted to do was meet Thurston Moore, which she did. Her dad drove her 14 hours from Canada, so that she could meet Thurston Moore for like a few minutes and talk to him. Wow, what a dad (keep Thurston in mind because there is a funny story I will tell soon enough about him). If that were me I would have killed her for even trying to sell the tickets. Whatever the case, it was really cool of her to do that and Frank and I were able to get in without much of a delay. It was fucking awesome. We were feeling nice and toasty and there we were going to No Fun. The rest of the night has to be told in installments as will these entries, chronicling each band's performance (or what I remember).

Workbench/Black Quarter: The first acts were Workbench and Black Quarter. Workbench is the dude from Religious Knives and Black Quarter is the girl from Religous Knives aka DOUBLE LEOPARDS. I wish they would have played a Double Leopards set because that would have been fucking rad, but they each played a solo part then played together (so they kind of played Double Leopards), before transitioning into the other person's stuff. His stuff was really good and guitar-droney, very much in the Double Leopards vein, but her shit was incredible. I wish she would have played longer because her keyboard drone was off the fucking chain.

Sickness: Sickness was the first act on the main stage and holy shit, what a way to start off the main stage performance. Chris from Sickness played one of the most unholy, unrestrained sets of harsh noise I had ever seen and it was the first main stage act. People were in utter shock as they watched him destroy his mic pack and destroy people's ears. A lot of this shit is homemade too so to watch a man do this to his own creations is nothing short of shocking. This performance was definitely one of the top five of the entire fest and it was only the first main performance. It set the tone for the rest of the weekend and foreshadowed the anger that would proceed.

Failing Lights: In what was the first of two memorable performances by Connelly, Failing Lights was basically a prelude to Hair Police's set which would be the next night. It was definitely dark, brooding, unnerving, everything you'd expect from Connelly (the star of this year's no fun fest). The eeriess of his set foreshadowed his later sets as it definitely left me unsettled and wanting more. The set wasn't that long and it didn't need to be. Connelly would have his moment in due time.

Dinosaurs with Horns: I looked at this performance as more of something we had to watch as a duty. They were two old dudes playing dark ambient drone/soundscape scores. It wasn't bad but it definitely wasn't too memorable. I watched most of it then made my way downstairs to see if Sewer Election (who I had heard a lot about) was playing...

Sewer Election...little did I know Sewer Election had started during the old dinosaurs' set was already starting the first riot of the No Fun Weekend. People were going off for this dude's set and I have to say, I was extremely impressed. I really liked what I heard and the fact that this dude that looked like a stoner could work the crowed into such a frenzy was impressive. His stuff was really really gritty but clean. I made it a priority after witnessing only 3 minutes of his set to get something of his within the course of the weekend. Great great set. One of the more impressive for a young act during the weekend.

Randy Yau: We missed most of this crazy dude's set although we walked in at the best part. He was going completely insane on stage breaking and shit took a bite out of something, screamed and spit all out on the crowd. Fucking asians are fucking insane. I really wish we could have caught all of his set, but I was thoroughly satisified with the last bit we saw.

some lady took this.

Jason Crumer: We hurried back down to the second stage to catch this dude Jason Crumer's set. This was another young dude I had recieved a lot of buzz on. Dom released his first big release on Hospital and was highly recommending it as one of the darkest albums Hospital has released, at least he said this to me and Frank. Frank had agreed and told me it was really really dark, and this is coming from Frank. So based on two extremely reputable sources (it don't get much more reputable than Prurient and Frank) I had high expecations. Instead I was pretty saddened. His set wasn't bad but it wasn't really good either. No one got into his set and the fact that he had his girlfriend up there playing with him didn't help either. I bought the cd nonetheless and listened to it and for what its worth, it was one of the best noise cd's I've heard in a long time. It's definitely one of the best albums so far of 2008 and the best debut for a noise artist I've heard since like "White Plains Leather". His set though lacked the darkness and sinister element that the album has in spades. I overheard Carlos and Dom talking later and Dom had told him that he can't play as Jason Crumer and have his girlfriend up there. Carlos had told him, if it were me I wouldn't do that but if that's what you want to do, that's fine. Dom said he was pissed because he thinks the album is seriously one of the best he's ever put out on Hospital but because of a meh set, no one was buying it. I hate to agree with him, but Crumer's gotta ditch the girl (at least for that performance) and go balls out the way he does on his record. The kid will be huge though, mark my words. He's going to be fucking massive. Just give him some time--like five minutes.

Thurson Moore and Nancy Garcia: Thurston's set was very polarizing. I enjoyed it because it's fucking Thurston Moore and Nancy Garcia is a cute chick who screams really loud which in my book equals awesome. It wasn't amazing and I guess that's what people wanted it to be, being that it's Thurston fucking Moore. But Thurston doesn't really have to prove anything. He gets up there, wails on his guitar, rocks out and spazzes out. He's always done that. People want to hate on him because he's Thurston fucking Moore and they're not. They look for anything to shit on him so they can feel better about themselves and they're shitty little projects. That's bullshit. Just because he's Thurston fucking Moore doesn't mean he's some big rock star (trust me the story I tell later will make you see). He just genuinely enjoys to rock out. It's like someone once said, anyone who doesn't like Henry Rollins is a prick. Same goes here. Anyone that doesn't like THurston Moore is a prick and resentful that he was doing this shit when they were still swimming around in their daddy's ball sack. Besides that, come on people IT'S THURSTON FUCKING MOORE.


picture I didn't take (Pitchfork Media).


Greg Kelley: We missed his set because we went back to the car to drink more bourbon.

Burning Star Core: Spencer is doing a lot of different things now a days. It's a huge leap from where he was on "Operator Dead". "Blood Lightning" kind of shows this and I just heard his new joint, "Challenger" which as the title implies is much more complex and structured. His noise is starting to become actual songs and you can tell the noise samurai is starting to really hone his craft. He is getting better and better with each album he puts out and his sets reflect this. He got trevor from Hair Police, Nate from Religious Knives and another girl I don't know to go up there and play with him. I've seen him before and usually his goes through his set as most noise sets go, continuously in an improvisational manner. However, in keeping with his new found structured song-theme, he actually played songs with the group that were really fucking good. They bordered on a space-jazz feel with a lot of the songs have complex rythyms with Spencer holding it down with his masterful violin playing. It was a great great set, and for something very different I was plesantly suprised. I was halfway expecting it to be not as good as his other sets, but he proved me wrong and played an awesome set. The last song featured his trademark sounds with him, Trevor and the girl screaming into microphone in increasingly louder intevrals. It sounded like they were turning into super-seins (which I'm sure Spencer already is). It was awesome.

Dude took it.

Handicapper Hornz: I went to the bathroom and on my way out noticed Olson for the first time in the night. I meant to say hi but he was walking pretty fast before someone asked him, "yo John you playing now" to which Olson replied, "yep". He got on stage with that same girl from the set before who busted ass to get to the second stage and the same dude from Religious Knives and they proceeded to play some fucking fierce free jazz-punk. It was fucking awesome. Olson ran into the crowd and started the pit going. The pit going fucking rowdy and crazy as Olson kept running into the crowd and making it bigger, larger and faster. It was definitely the first riot of the weekend. People were losing their shit. At one point I didn't even see it but then felt a huge weight push me forward. I looked down and saw it was Olson tackling me and driving me into the crowd. I stopped and pushed forward and we wrestled for what seemed like 15 or 20 seconds. It was fucking awesome. I was surprised I held my own pretty well, he's a big dude. I threw him back on stage and he continued to blast off until their set was over. When it was I went up to Olson and gave gim a huge hug. "Yo man, I'm really glad to see you made it up." "I'm really glad I got to see that." It was a cool moment for me as we shook hands and walked off stage.

White Out: White Out was Carlos, Spencer and someone else I don't really remember. We missed a good deal of it but came in halfway to see some awesome collobarations. You could see Carlos working the timing out perfectly being the perfectionist he is. It was a good set, once again a prelude for a person's future set (in this case Carlos).

Damion Romero: Damion Romero was headlining the second stage and I wanted to see him just to support my local L.A scene. I have seen him many times before and his sets aren't amazing. They are what they are, just sraight out drone. I didn't understand it when I first saw it back when I was like 18, but now that I've gotten into a lot more droney shit, I have a new found appreciation. Besides, after Olson's set we needed something to calm us down and end the night smoothly. I kind of got lost in the drone for a while, zoning out and staring into space or closing my eyes. Before I knew it, his set was over and I guess that's his big joke on us. People like to accuse drone of being boring and without surprises, but if you ever see it live and really get into it, you'll realize the tricks they play with time, your mind and your conciousness. Clever fucking bastard that Romero dude. LEGALIZE L.A!

Tony Conrad and MV Carbon: I was reading some kid's blog about No Fun and in it he basically bitched and whined like a little bitch about his life and barely talked about No Fun. The only thing he mentioned was about Tony Conrad and MV Carbon changing his life and making him feel alive. BULLSHIT. They're first half an hour was good and after that, it should have been over. I was feeling them for the first half hour before they stopped, and then started all over with something else. They're set was scheduled for 40 minutes and they played well past an hour. They played half an hour into ASTRO's set and after 45 minutes I left to go hang out with Frank as many others did. Their set was sloppy after the half hour mark and just fucking boring as shit. This was definitely one of the biggest dissappointments of the weekend. By the time they were done, people had begun to leave and no one was left for Astro which fucking sucked. Thanks Tony Conrad, you fucking arrogant bastard. Any music that is an inspiration to kids like the one I mentioned "blogging his feeling on his dark opressive hole that is his rainy New York life" is bound to be full of hot air. Thanks for driving out the crowd jerks.


once again, I didn't take this they (Pitckfork) did.

Astro: I really really REALLY wished people had stuck around for this. Easily one of the best performance on the entire weekend. His set offest all the bad vibes from the last set and completely fucking blew me and my eardrums away. Astro the monster space noise ninja from Japan came on stage, lighted incense and proceeded to rape the hearing of everyone who was left in the audience until the incense burned all the way down. It was spacey, harsh, destructive, it was like watching the Alien from the movie "Alien" take a bunch of steroids, then destroy everything and everyone in a roid induced rage. I really really REALLY enjoyed Astro's set. There was this really fucked up kid in the crowd that I almost decked. At one point these two dudes (who I would later find out where from Cathode Terror Secretion, which makes a whole lotta sense now), started fucking this kid up. One dude was fishhooking the kid, slamming his head into the stage while this tall huge motherfucking was grabbing him by the shirt and wailing on his face. This is what Astro made this kid do. It made him get attacked and beaten by two huge men. And that is the perfect metaphor for what Astro did to my hearing. After his set I couldn't hear shit and I went to bed with my ears ringing. I woke up the next day and nothing had changed.


So that was Day One from No Fun. Stay Tuned for day two, my Hospital experience and plus I'll probably write about all the money I blew on music, whores, and drugs. AWWWWWWWW HORSEAPPLES!

- C-note