No Fun Day Two (Before)

So we woke up pretty fucked after day one. We got back pretty late and my ears were still ringing something fierce from the night before. Frank's mom made us some yummy chocolate chip pancakes and we made our way up to Brooklyn to go to Hopsital and pick up some records (see Hopspital entry). After talking to everyone at Hopsital we made our way over to the Knitting Factory and found another good parking spot. Finding tickets for this night was more of a bitch than the first night. We stood outside asking people for tickets to no avail. Finally this dude came up to us and asked us if we wanted two three-day passes. He said money would suffice but he really wanted beer or weed. Since neither of us were over 21 we walked away dejected and pissed.

Sitting on the steps of this abandoned loft, we looked to be completely fucked and Frank even mentioned possibly going home and getting drunk. We started talking to this one girl and we told her about that kid. She perked up and instantly ran over to him saying that not only could she buy him beer, but she could hook him up with some herb. He thanked us for finding a connect and to thank us, he brought us in with his friend who was performing. So just like that, in a matter of minutes we were in the Knitting Factory for Night 2, ready to have another great night (and as luck would have it, this would end up being the best night). I split this entry up into two parts because it was so long and crazy it needed to be. There is the BEFORE Ayahuasca and THE AFTER Ayahuasca parts. You'll see what I'm talking about.

Afternoon Penis: Afternoon Penis is Nate from Mouthus and Religious Knives. His main deal is, he's a drummer that makes noise. He's not like Brian Chippendale where he's all over the top with it. He started off plying using these metal plates he fashioned as cymbals. He ran them through some pedals and they were getting some good sounds. He then proceeded over to the drumset and played a surprisingly awesome set of drone using his voice, effects and drums. It was a great Afternoon of Penis.

Nevari Butchers: I was really excited for this. It was Dilloway with some dude who plays Cello and other things. I forget his name but he's pretty well known. The set started off with Dilloway scraping a wheelbarrow which was placed awkwardly on stage with a shovel. Anyone that knows me knows I CAN'T STAND the sound of metal scraping metal. It's not like its annoying, it just makes me want to die. I don't know. I can't explian it. Suffice it to say, I've had severe mental breakdowns because of that sound. And it being amplified 1000 times for my ears was a delightfully terrible experience. It was amazing. They kicked in to their set with Dilloway playing his crazy loops and the dude playing the cello through effects. Then all hell broke loose at the end, like all Dilloway sets, when Dilloway transformed from a mild-mannered, normal looking dad into this ferocious, angry, murderer, furioudly digging a wheelburrow as if he were digging a shallow grave for someone he had just murdered with a his bare hands. Definitely one of my favorite sets of the weekend.

Pax Titania: We missed this dude's set because he was playing the same time as Nevari Butchers. It Bummed me out because this was that kid that let us in, Bobby's friend.

Eskimo King: The Eskimo King is the other dude from Mouthus, Brian Sullivan. Over the years he's transformed his appearance from gawky, protypically lame looking tennis hipster, to a gruff, homeless, haggard, and worn looking fisherman with huge biceps. He has transformed himself into The Eskimo King. His set was fucking awesome as he played some frantic guitar drone. That is pretty weird to do, play some drone that sounds that anxious, but if you've heard Brian's guitar playing, it's about as insane as it gets. I really loved his set and it made me wish I could move to Alaska to become an Eskimo King, if only so I could look as cool as he does now.

Nautical Almanac: After Brian's set, we made it upstairs to watch Nautical Almanac from the balcony. Their set was utterly amazing. This was the best I've seen Nautical Almanac. I had to represent them, being that they are from Baltimore and they are the closest DC has to noise leaders in the scene. So I was completely blown away when I saw their set up. They had a sheet over the stage and on that sheet were projected clips of various unsettling and droning images that if under the correct state would probably cause seizures or suicides. Eyes surveying the crowd, clips of monotonous laundromats washing machines, it was a complete mindfuck. Then the lights lit up Carly and Twig in the back and synced to the beat of this effect Twig had casued which made it sound like a heartbeat. So as the heart was beating, the lights were flashing. It was one of the more visually and sonically impressive sets of the entire weekend. Their noise was like the sound of a psychedlic breakdown complete with screaming, awesome effects, droning segways, and the rapidly decreaing sound of a heartbeat. I was so happy that they played and that they were able to do some much in so little time. Gotta represent that Bank baby. West Baltimore 4 LYFE!!!


Baby Cobra Headsz: We ran down cause we heard this crazy sound come from the downstairs area and we walked into a sea of noise. I was immediately drawn in and looking forward to the set, when all of a sudden they stop, and go into this incredibly shitty and just God-awful song about love, and puppies or some shit--I dunno. This band was fucking, just terrible. It really was of the most offensive things to my ears I've ever heard. I can go on but I wouldn't do that. This bad might be the shittiest, gayest, crappiest band ever. How they got on No Fun, I have no idea. The gall of this band to try and play electronic twee pop-punk at No Fun. NExt time I see this band, I will come prepared with a sack of doorknobs and some bricks.

*IMPORTANT INTERLUDE*
As I was walking bac up from that hideous wreck, I saw Carly from Nautical Almanac looking around. She then turned around and saw me.

Carly: You, you're the first face I see that looks nice and sweet enough to where you can help me. I recognize your familiar face. You look like you will help me.
Me: Yeah, I've seen you guys a bunch of times, I from DC. I go up to the Bank sometimes and catch shows.
Carly: YEAH! I've seen you at DC shows and the area. Will you come help us move our equipment out to the car?
Me: Yeah sure, no problem.

So Carly lead me and another Chris, Chris Forgues (aka KITES) to the backstage area to help them move their equipment to the car with Twig. I carried their projector out to the car and thanked them for an incredible set. Twig remembered me from the Bank, DC and also L.A as he had been in L.A for some shows a couple of times. I got to talking to Carly about their set and about everything going on in Baltimore and in particular Max (DJ Dog Dick) and his back problems.
Me: So how's Max doing, I haven't seen him in almost a year and last I saw him, his back was really messed up. He was like hoveling around, barely moving.
Carly: Max is fine. It's all in his head. He just had a psychological trigger that went off and triggered the back problems.
Me: He told me he was like dancing or acting dumb and he just tweaked it.
Carly: We all have these psychological barriers that cause us to ail phsyically. It's like the physical effects the psychological. Like you, what hurts you.
Me: *stumbles through dumb examples of pet peeves awkwardly*
Carly: No no no, like what pains you physically.
Me: *more dumb idiotic rambling*
Carly: No, no, no like--okay--do you wake up feeling good in the morning or throughout the day?
Me: No. My stomach constantly hurts.
Carly: There you go, there's you're psychological barrier. Do you have like breathing problems?
Me: Yeah as a matter of fact, I have recently. I saw a doctor for it, he gave me an inhaler.
Carly: do you use it?
Me: Yeah.
Carly: see you don't need that. That's material. It's a psycholigcal trigger. All you need to do is just stop and breathe. That's it. Like right now *points to me retardedly crossing my arms*, you are crossing your arms, you're preventing air to enter your airways and constricting your solerplexes.
Me:...woah...you're right.
Carly: Here *as she takes a gulp of this tea-looking substance* have some of this, it helps.
Me: Yeah sure *takes a big heaping gulp*. mmm not bad, what is it?
Carly: It's Ayahuasca.
Me: *not knowing what the hell that is and looking like an idiot for not knowing*, Oh. ok. *takes sip* Thanks.

We continued talking about my stomach problems until Twig pulled the car around to go park. The rest of the night, for all intents and purposes was me tripping my fucking nutsack and retaded face off and not realizing it until it really REALLY hit around Skaters and Emeralds. If ever there was a night to get nice and dosed though, it was tonight, with the rest of the night (minus Hair Police) consisting of droners, I had no idea for what was to happen. I had no idea what this shit was and what it had in store until Frank informed me later on and then the REAL [no] FUN started...



TO BE CONTINUED.