$Five Dollar Footlong$

So about two months ago Subway started this promotion called "five dollar footlong" where they have certain sandwiches for five dollars. The song is seriously the catchiest jingle I have heard for any promotion in the recent years. They really know how to market and advertise. First, that whole Jared promotion, and now the five dollar footlong jingle seems to be getting them huge business.

I say this because the song is stuck in my head like fucking crazy. It's like "We Built This City" on crack in its catchiness. I find myself humming it and singing along to the commercial whenever it comes on mimicing the "footlong" gesture they do in the commercial in reference to a certain one of my body parts (no I am not above that at all, and yes I am extremely immature in every way). Now let me state first, for the record, I FUCKING HATE SUBWAY. Once again, I FUCKING HATE SUBWAY. I think their sandwiches are for the most part, disgusting and unsanitay. I have gotten sick many times from eating there and I just generally hate it. I discovered their pizzas which for a while weren't so bad. I could tolerate them, until one day I got the worst case of ass destruction and from then on I have renounced Subway once again.

So what the fuck does this have to do with anything? Well the other night Kelly and I were extremely hungry and we had little money as we always do, but there was nothing open on campus and we couldn't spend a shitload on take out. I reiterate I FUCKING HATE SUBWAY. But later on that night I found myself chomping down on a sandwich and not even really realizing where I had got it from. I looked down at the wrapper and realized, "Holy shit, I just ate at Subway". Seems Subway is the only place open late on campus and I had suggested it and legitamately seemed interested in the suggestion.

Basically the moral of the story is Subway are fucking crafty bastards. THey are geniuses and I am just another normal sap for good marketing. Just another number for them. Their subliminal advertising works perfectly and I am a sucker for consumer advertising. You might laugh at me and proclaim yourself higher than that, but the next time you find yourself randomly chomping down on a piece of coporate hoagie and realize you are eating Subway, think of me and remember. But more importantly think of FIVE--FIVE DOLLAR--FIVE DOLLAR FOOTLOOOOOONG.

-CWaY