Album Review:
EMERALDS - What Happened?

[No Fun Productions]

Do you want to have your face melted? Are you ready for the psychedelical freakout of everything you thought necessary and/or relevent? Has God ever proven himself to you by crippling your ability to fathom the capabilties of a single clover? Do you want to have every single limb in your body dipped in cid except for for face? Did you ever dream you swam with dolphins in an ocean of love and righteousness? Do you remember the first time you smoked too much weed? Do you want to have your ears plungered by the sound of pegassuses and unicorns defeating armies of the north with their lsd guitars and synthesizers? Do you like to party with the leprechauns that dance in your dream and only come out when you drink too beer and do too many hallucinogens? Do you want to smoke opium laced with meth? Do you want a ride to outer space in a beat-up chevrolet mini-van that plays nothing but Syd Barrett, The Velvet Underground, and Van Halen? Do you wish you knew what just happened? Do you want to rock so hard, the forces of time, space, and energy converge to form an unstoppable reconstruction of your life before it shatters into the brick wall that is YOUR MOTHERFUCKING METLED FACE?????

If you have answered yes to any of these questions, for the love god BUY THIS MOTHERFUCKING BEAST OF AN ALBUM!!!!!!

Grade: A