I have a crush on this woman.

Scumbag Casanova

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

My computer is fucked up and the keyboard doesn't work. But THIS is my new favorite band/noise anything. And surprise surprise it's a Witscher project. Rene Hell, best noise/drone around.

Witscher = CHAMPION OF U.S NOISE.

I don't have a song to post. You find it. Because it's well worth the search. Alls I Have is a memory:

Scumbag Casanova

Thursday, May 27, 2010

There is a reason...
... I listen to harsh noise.

The brutality helps me forget reality. And for those few precious moments, I am invincible to all pain.

So try and step during a set like this. I dare you.

- Smile she says

Scumbag Casanova

Sunday, May 23, 2010

Album Review: Eluvium - Similies

This seems a bit trite to say, but I think this album saved my life. I'm not going to go into the gory details or bore anyone with meaningless emotional drivel. All I know is that when things seem grim. When things look like they couldn't get any worse, I will listen to this album and realize that things are going to be okay.

The other day I saw Eluvium and Matt Cooper on the street in Adams Morgan after their show the night before where I didn't get a chance to say thank you to him. I went up to him, shook his hand and said "thank you Matt, for everything".

I firmly believe that things will be alright for me and for my beliefs. I think about them too much and obsess over them which is unhealthy. The minute any of you feel that you are in a negative state, listen to this album, or any album from Eluvium for that matter. But listen the lyrics on this album. It's the first time Matt's ever said anything and I do believe he was biding his time waiting for the perfect moment to give confused and depressed twenty-somethings such as myself,a guideline for living an emotionally and mentally healthy life. Everything about this album is so beautiful. And it makes me realize that you know, sometimes really amazing, beautiful things are totally worth waiting for.

GRADE: A+

Scumbag Casanova

Friday, April 02, 2010

AU: Affluent Undergraduates

Note: This post is a little more serious in tone. I'll probably offend some people, but fuck them. And fuck you.

I woke up early this morning with one of more intense hangovers in recent memory for me. After a solidly bad day I decided to take all my frustrations out on my liver because I was depressed and angry. Poor little guy. He never did anything to anyone. The reason why I was so upset is because for the past four months I have been trying to get into graduate school. A lot of the anger is directed towards myself for dilly-dallying and procrastinating to the point where things with my applications looked pretty bad. Ever the hurried stalwart, I was determined to get my applications finished and I'll be damned if I didn't get every single one of those motherfuckers in before the application deadlines (okay ON the deadlines...some of them not). I was feeling optimistic about my chances with some schools and finally feeling confident in myself again, something I haven't had since American Apparel fired me for being me. The only thing left for me to do was to send the rest of my information: resumes, essays, articles, recs, and transcripts. This part of the process was going to be easy.

I ventured to AU one afternoon to pick up a transcript and have the rest of them sent out. I was aware of the fact that being a lower-middle class Mexican from East L.A, my student account might have had an overdue past balance on it. I couldn't afford to go here as long as I did (which is why I graduated as fast as I could), and my loans had all dried up to the point where I knew there was some tuition money still owed. Given my background, and my familiarity with this situation I asked the people at the Office of the Registrar if this was going to be a problem, since I was trying to better my situation by getting a higher education. They informed me that there was no way this was going to be a problem and that all I had to do was fill the forms out, notify my schools, and everything was going to be gravy. "Wow", I thought. American University is really helpful and sympathetic to the fact that some people that go their institution are from less fortunate backgrounds and they are doing everything to help little old me!

Oh, but how affluence rears its ugly head again. When I first started attending AU, I was initially put off by the amount of snobby, rich, white kids that seemed to value nothing more than partying and fucking up. They shit their education away and their parents paid 40K (at the time), for them to do it. This was infuriating to me given my background and my gratitude for just being allowed to go here. I was also dismayed at the amount students that were at AU seemingly to get an education on how to be a piece of shit human being. Being a political science major, I was subject to many of these kids who believed there way was always right, that they were the next Senator from New York, and would stop it at nothing to attain that goal, even if it meant sacrificing your humanity. These rich kids pissed me off so much as I had attend class with these kids and listen to some of the horrible hate speech/sorry excuse for intelligent drivel. Most of them were super party-oriented and believed that if you didn't belong to a political party, you were a fucking loser. I HATED those kids and while I won't name names, a lot of you pieces of shit know you are and I hope you choke eternally in hell.

However, as bad as all of those kids were, nothing compared to amount of students and faculty that claimed to be sympathetic to my plight and "really understand" where I am coming from. Nothing compared to the amount of rich, white, guilty, politically-correct individuals who "got me" or "loved brown people" because their maid was Hispanic. These kids made me want to put a bullet in my brain every single time they claimed to be "down with my cause". The truth of the matter is, I never had a cause, and I never wanted one. My cause is my life, and once I became blatant in my disdain for these individuals, they stopped talking to me. I didn't want to be friends with a group of people who got pissed off because I said a rape joke, or the word "gay" in a non-homosexual context but understood that I said it because I was a Mexican from East Los and probably "didn't know better". Their presence was an insult to family, my academic accomplishments and my intelligence.


Over a while I learned to be a bit more accepting of individuals' personalities and a bit more discretionary with some of the things I said. I still hated these kids, but was tolerant of the fact that I might have a thing or two to learn from these people as they do I. Some people I even became friends with. At the conclusion of my time here at AU, I had made a good amount of friends and was generally grateful to AU for giving me a great education with some of best faculty in the world. I still knew AU was full of rich, white kids, but at least I survived them and came out of it with a degree.

Nothing could have prepared me though, for the amount of anger, depression, and blind rage AU would cause me when it came to applying to graduate school. Because now that I am not dealing with friends and teachers anymore, I am dealing with the motherfuckers at AU whose job it is to make sure their rich, upper-crust, clientele is happy. After all their parents pay their paycheck (as well as that 1500 dollar loft the kids have in Tenleytown). As I mentioned earlier, I was told that the fact that me and my family still owed money was not going to be a problem. Apparently, this was a bold face lie. Because it's a problem, a big motherfucking problem.

Before I left for New York, I was alerted to the fact that none of the schools I had applied to had received my transcripts. I was puzzled and disturbed by this seeing as how, I was told by the people that THIS WAS NOT GOING TO BE A PROBLEM. When I came to the office of the registrar and asked them what the problem was, the douchey-white prick told me that I still owed money so they could not send them out. I was taken aback, angered, and dejected at this notification and decided that the only way I was going to do this, was if I did it myself. Since I had possession of one physical copy of my transcript, I assumed that I could pick up physical copies and mail them out. I informed my schools I was going to do this and they gave me the green light.

When I arrived back from New York I came home to a rejection letter from the University of Maryland and was immediately crestfallen. I was sure I would get into AT LEAST there, and due to this development I realized there was no time to waste and had to do this immediately. I hurried over to the office yesterday, scheduled a pick-up of my transcripts (which were told to me by the not-douchey, helpful student-aid), that they would be ready for pick up today and to be there at the latest, noon. When I arrived, hungover, still drunk from the night before, but physically present at eleven o'clock in the morning, I was told by the man who had already printed out the transcripts, that there was no way he would release the transcripts to me. I lost my patience and immediately alerted him to the fact that I already had a copy and was told initially, that me owing money would not be an issue. He informed me that there must have been a terrible mistake as he would have never allowed me to pick-up the transcript had he known my situation. Then I watched in horror, disbelief, and complete anguish as he took the copies of my transcripts he had printed out and ripped them up in front of me.


Now as I said earlier, this is a serious post. I am not lying when I tell you the white, glasses wearing, asshole of a desk man, ripped them right in front of me. It was at this moment that all the years of hate, anger, and prejudice towards rich people came rushing back to me, and once again I had AU to thank for all of this. You know, over the years I had become comfortable with the fact that some people are just better off financially than I am. I had become aware of the fact that some kids come from affluent backgrounds and that I shouldn't judge them based on the way they were raised or what type of environment they were brought up in. I became comfortable of the fact that some of these kids had parents that weren't complete and total fuck-ups like some kids. I didn't blame them for my problems, and after a while, I realized that if there were any financial issues I had, the only way they were going to be solved, is if I did them myself. So all the blame rested solely on me and not on the kids.

But god dammit, when you have the very symbol of why you hated these kids in the first place tear your life's academic work up in your face, it's very hard to ignore the disparaging gap between the rich and the poor. Not just financially but socially. According to American University's "Office of Diversity Studies" (I doubt there really is one, it's probably four dudes who sit in a circle all day, beat off, and make up numbers regarding "the darkies"), diversity at AU has grown on an average of about 25 % with each incoming class. Latinos alone have grown by 50% at AU. Wow, that sounds great AU! You guys are really getting the picture. What those four dudes beating off won't tell you, is that enrollment numbers at AU have skyrocketed in the last four years, with the class sizes almost doubling and over 60% of those kids are white. According to a 2007-08 study by U.S News World Weekly American University ranks in the bottom five percentile of institutions where kids are receiving pell grants, only 12%. Which means that 12-20% is a reasonable estimate for kids who come from poorer backgrounds. Great job with all that diversity AU. Just because you have more racially diverse kids, doesn't mean you still aren't treating them differently. It doesn't matter how much you try and increase the numbers 10 to 5, 8 to 4, 4 to 2, 2 to 1 is always the same no matter how hard you try and skew it.


As I said earlier, I have no qualm with the education I I received at AU. It was great. And I really don't mind the fact that in life, people will generally have more than me. It's a have-have not society. But when their rich, white, pedigrees are thrown in my face like it was today, I have no choice but to be enraged and dejected. It's really hard to smell nice when monkeys keep throwing their shit at me. Walking around the campus, I could the students, having the time of their lives, reveling in the gorgeous rays of spring sunshine. I saw tons of prospective students being led on tours around the campus in their best "college looking" attire, clutching the books to their eager little hearts, marveling at the beautiful austerity of the some buildings, while their rich white parents peruse the landscape looking for a hint of flaw only to find satisfaction with the prevailing disparity which AU offers. I wanted to beat them all.

Like I said, this is a serious post, with some serious anger, and some serious depression. The one thing that will get to me is gross inequality in socioeconomic statuses and if it made me feel like shit before, it will definitely make me feel like shit again. My solution to all of this is very simple. When AU admits students, on their bed they should give them a bag. For all the rich kids that get admitted, the bags should contain goodies, t-shirts and all the usual useful things that make your freshman year a bit easier. For all the poor kids, a lump of shit.

A bag with a lump of shit in it. If your Hispanic, then diarrhea, just so they acknowledge your "diversity". At least then they'll know right off the bat they will be shit on for four years here by the administration and by some kids. At least then they won't have to get their hopes up. That would have saved me a whole lot of time. Until then. Fuck rich people. Fuck Republicans. Fuck Democrats. Fuck kids. And most of all fuck American University.

Posted from: American University Career Center (hey they fucked my shit up, the least they can do is offer me a computer to bitch on)


- Shitbird.

Scumbag Casanova

Thursday, March 18, 2010

Europe is Still Weird
Okay big surprise here. Chris Moreno has never been any where other than the U.S and Mexico. Not because he doesn't want to. But because he and his parents could never afford it.

I wanted to be one of those kids sent to to Europe every year. I wanted to save up money and go to Norway or Japan. But alas, I have been flat broke since I was born and remain flat fucking broke. STILL, I have always marveled at how fucking weird Europe is. There is a stereotype (especially about Scandanavians) that paints them as weird, post-post-modern, avante-garde, synthesizer induced druggards. Bands like Kraftwerk and Aqua don't help the argument against it either.

Over the years, I've learned to respect and even admire Europeans. I want to visit Norway-Sweden-Findland and Germany in the near future. Mainly because of their sick music scenes which offer music that is far advanced than the sandboxed noobs here in America. My favorite band is Swedish for shits sake. Of course I wanna go there!

And then I see shit like this. Shit that reminds me that no matter how much people want to act like any european city is better than an American city, it's still fucking weird. Shit that makes me feel like a justifiably apprehensive and ignorant American motherfucker. This is the Swedish version of the grammys. Fever Ray won best dance album. I fucking love Fever Ray, but this is is seriously exactly how I pictured Europe when I was nine years old. This was their acceptance speech and everyone cheered like it was the greaest thing ever! I just don't understand the way Europeans think. Sometimes I think I really don't want to. It may seem ignorant as a motherfucker thats never been there but I feel that apparently I was right all along.

Remember that episode of the Simpsons where Grandpa Abe lost his paintings to that German Eurotrash and he drove away listening to Krafwerk. I somehow envisioned watching this thirteen years later and knowing this is exactly how Europe is.



Of course not everything about Europe is fucked. This is weird. But fucking amazing. I await the day I'm in Umea and can feel both alienated and enamored with shit as weird as this continent. This song rules:


That's it for my xenophobe talk. Anyone wanna pay for my ticket to Oslo?

- Espedal or Bust

Scumbag Casanova

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Album Review: Daughters - S/T


I don't think I've ever been so horny after listening to an album. Daughters have always been the kings of what I like to call sleazecore: a mixture of post-metal, mathcore and tasteless raunch. The first self-titled ep was a lesson in short-fast and grimy grindcore with vocals that seemed to come out of Lex's disdain for keeping his pants on. Screeches, howls, screams; it definitely sounded like he was fucking to death. When Canada Songs came out, I was all over that record as it only continued to further their reputation as kings of sleaze with post-modern porno lyrics.

Then the band did an about face on their last album, which turned out to be the best decision they could ever make. They stopped blasting so hard, they stopped trying to sound anything like grind, and Lex stopped screaming. What resulted was their raunchiest and most foul record to date in "Hell Songs". As opposed to fucking himself to death, Lex now sounded like a drunken sailor from Providence ready to blow his load at the sound of a screeching guitar. Hence the lyrics, "like a roman candle when I get off".

That leads us to this album which while I'm undecided if it's their best, is definitely another milestone in the Daughters lineage. Daughters maintain their sexual ferocity, even amping it up a little on this album, with guitars that are less angular and more jarring than anything. I was surprised to hear so much distortion put on them, but very very pleased with what I heard. Lyrically, the album retains much of that post-modern horniness they fucked with in their early days and mixes it with the newer style of Lex's vocals and storytelling lyrics. The result is a mixture of brilliant hyperbole and just flat out fucking sick ass lines.

The lead single "The First Supper" is a perfect example of how amazing this album is. It has everything from high pitched guitar parts to the soul-crushing breakdowns that make every Daughters show such an amazing thing to be a part of. It has a tad bit more of a dancy, spazzy, beat to it, which is another new facet of this band. The album flows almost incoherently in a drunken fashion much in the same way "Hell Songs" did, only where Hell relented in their aggression, Daughters "S/T" just keeps punishing and punishing. Think your drunk uncle stumbling around belligerently and constantly sexually harassing your girlfriend or your mom before going home and angrily fucking a hoooker.

The album isn't all flash and weiners though. Lyrically Daughters have perfected their craft and their style so well that the metaphors at times seem completely harmless and introspective. I guess that's their trick for getting you. Further inspection shows these guys are still sleazy enough to make you cringe and that no one does it better. The sound, the vocals, the words, everything blends in perfectly to create an album that is not only brutal in aural aspects but smart, inquisitive and downright crude/sexy all together. Each song is carefully crafted with tongues placed firmly on cheeks, what type of cheek are we talking about? Well I guess you're just going to have to find out for yourself.

There is debate as to whether or not this will be their last album. Daughters have announced they will not be touring in support of it, and three of the five members have quit for unknown reasons, although reading and watching interviews with Lex, it can't be hard to figure out. If this is their last album, then it is a fitting way to go out. It is a great swan song for a band that in my eyes is extremely underrated and one of the more progressive bands in their genre (more so than the Locust, Some Girls, etc.). At least if they are done, Daughters go out on top (or on the bottom depending on how drunk and tired they are). They came in kicking and screaming and go out in a drunken blaze of gunshots and rimjobs. Hey at least they went out with a bang, which I guess is how they first started: kickin and screamin, hangin and bangin.

Grade: A

Here's the first single off the album, "The First Supper".


- 8============)---